


The Curse of the Wereporg

by harrypanther



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Humor, Canon-Typical Violence, Everyone wants to cuddle Kylo porg, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gen, Humor, Hux is a reluctant ally, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Phasma is a secret porg-cuddler, What Have I Done, What-If, Who hasn't wondered what Kylo would be like as a porg?, curse of the were rabbit vibes, porgs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23235607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrypanther/pseuds/harrypanther
Summary: A routine mission destroying a Resistance Base goes awry and Kylo Ren wakes up with a major problem......and feathers...
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 27
Kudos: 118





	1. Kylo's Very Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Проклятие порга-оборотня](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25892995) by [fandom SW IX - Duel of the Fates 2020 (Our_Own_Star_Wars)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Our_Own_Star_Wars/pseuds/fandom%20SW%20IX%20-%20Duel%20of%20the%20Fates%202020), [Izverg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izverg/pseuds/Izverg)



> A/N: This one is for Vala411. It's her fault-she mentioned a wereporg first. I just ran off with it...
> 
> And what else are you to do when locked up for your own safety due to Coronavirus? 
> 
> This is intended to be humorous and lighthearted but I am harrypanther so a bit of angst may creep in...
> 
> Disclaimer: Star Wars and all characters and situations therein are the property of Lucasfilm and Disney. Not sure if George ever envisaged a wereporg though…

**ONE: Kylo's Very Bad Day**

It was another routine mission, dispatched halfway across the Galaxy to destroy a small knot of Resistance traitors that could just as well have been annihilated by a squad of First Order Stormtroopers-except that would have been too easy.

Eyes blazing with anger, Kylo Ren, apprentice to Lord Snoke, the Supreme Leader, bisected another traitor, deflected a blaster bolt with his hand and then jerked his hand round in a vicious gesture that collapsed the roof of the doorway onto another three traitors. He could feel their lives fade from the Force and he paused, breathing hard. Not only had Snoke commanded him to take the menial mission, he had ordered Kylo to clear the whole nest himself, forcing him to carve his way through the whole base while the Stormtroopers remained snug and warm in the Command Shuttle. It was raining and he was soaked to the skin, the kriffing resistance fighters were regrouping and his wounds were hurting.

He grimaced and regretted it. This was definitely Snoke's punishment for losing to the Scavenger, losing Starkiller Base and requiring Hux of all people to haul his badly injured carcass off the collapsing planet mere moments before it shattered. Snoke had been incredibly angry and once Kylo had been treated enough that Snoke's displeasure wouldn't immediately kill him, the Supreme Leader had made his anger known. Very very clearly. Once he'd been patched up a bit more, he'd been sent out on this mission-ostensibly to locate the new Resistance Base but in reality, to punish him for his failure. The wound in his side, where Chewbacca's shot had almost killed him, was mostly healed, though it pulled when he wielded his lightsaber and the ugly and vicious wound from the Scavenger's lightsaber was raw and bled if he moved too fast.

The only saving grace was his mask, concealing the wound from casual observation. He was Kylo Ren, for kriff's sake! Snoke's Enforcer, the Jedi Killer, the most feared man in the First Order…the last thing he wanted was pitying eyes raking over his disfigured face. He knew the most popular rumour was that he wore the mask to hide his hideous face anyway but now…he guessed it was probably true. He blinked and pushed the self-pitying thoughts aside, focussing on the shifts in the Force and what was happening within the Base.

His lightsaber swung up, the fizzing, spitting red blade deflecting the shots from a defensive heavy-duty fixed blaster. The blade flickered and he realised that another direct hit may be too much. Growling, he focussed on the pain, using it to allow him to access the darkness within and he leapt, the second shot missing as he landed on the roof of the Base. Saber swinging, he took out the three men manning the cannon and destroyed it, then rammed his lightsaber blade through the power couplings, plunging the interior into darkness. He carved a hole in the roof, leapt through and then clicked the blade off. Quietly he waited, allowing his sense of the Force to expand, identifying the blazing presences of the Resistance fighters. Seven. That was all. He had been sent here to kill a mere dozen or so fighters.

That _really_ pissed him off. Notwithstanding that being pissed off was Kylo's normal frame of mind, this really was the final insult. He reached out with the force and slammed one of the defenders against the wall, the noise causing all the remainder to spin and look towards the sound. Then he thumbed on the lightsaber and a couple of vicious sweeps ended any further resistance. He walked forward, over the bodies and summoned a blaster into his hand, blasting through the deadfall and finally squinting at the light. And then he walked out, tossing the blaster aside and stalking toward the shuttle.

"Search them for clues to the new location of the Resistance Base," he snapped, the vocoder altering his voice. "Tell me when you have completed your search." Trying to calm himself so he had some semblance of control when he returned to the shuttle, he walked over the muddy ground towards the cliff, staring through the drizzle at the stormy grey sea. The base was sited on a plateau shielded by towering cliffs both above and below that had made the approach trying and the landing pretty hard. He could hear the men mumbling and complaining and a crash as someone fell over but his attention was diverted by other lifeforms, huddling into the long seagrass that was being blasted by the wind and waves.

They were sort-of birds, he realised absently-short, stubby, blunt birds with short wings, big black eyes and a white face and front on their otherwise brown bodies. A pair were huddled over a nest, their beakless faces close together in an attitude that a sentimentalist could interpret as affection. He snorted and felt his side hurt, a hand idly rising to feel the barely-healed flesh ripped. Not badly enough to require a spell in a bacta tank- _as if Snoke would permit tha_ t-but enough to need a patch to at least stop it leaking blood into his robes.

Suddenly he felt tired, annoyed and in pain. And he barely had the energy to be furious at the whole situation. He would hate Snoke if he felt the man wouldn't sense it immediately but in truth, all he wanted was his bed on the Finalizer and a little peace and quiet to recharge his batteries. The stormtroopers were bumbling around and would probably be some time inspecting what tech the damned Resistance had left in their base and he just wanted to have some peace and quiet. Gritting his teeth, he turned back to the shuttle.

Then he paused. One of the birds was facing him, snarling in the rain in a manner that would be hilarious if it wasn't so pathetic. The creature was flapping its wings furiously and started making irritated noise that sounded like some horrible high-pitched squeal. He winced as it lunged at him. It made a more insistent yodel and bounded forward, savaging his ankle. Shocked, he tried to shake it loose and then rapidly backed away. It lunged again and he almost slipped over, righting himself clumsily. And then he froze. There were stormtroopers looking, men watching _Kylo Ren_ backing away from a rabid two foot piece of miserable local wildlife. He growled in his throat and reached for his lightsaber as the thing flapped up and almost bit him on the ass. He whipped round with an incoherent growl and stumbled then fell over.

The creature sprang, wings flapping and bit him incredibly hard on the thigh, just above the knee. He swore as the teeth ripped through the fabric and broke his skin, drawing blood. Fury throbbed through him and the lightsaber ignited and swung, cutting it in half. The bisected corpse fell to the ground as Kylo scrambled back to his feet, then kicked the nearest half in anger. His leg was bleeding, he was soaked and muddy and his men were sniggering. Straightening up, he limped past the stormtroopers, his fists clenched in anger and swept up the ramp into the shuttle.

He would be glad to get back on the ship.

-o0o-

General Armitage Hux was irritated. There were a thousand more things he could be doing rather than standing here like an idiot, waiting to greet Supreme Leader Snoke's pet not-Jedi Ren. He cleared his throat and flicked a cold blue glance at the Upsilon Shuttle that was gliding gracefully into the landing bay, fins folded up for landing. Automatically, he checked the lines of white Stormtrooper uniforms and was satisfied that all were in perfect alignment, every soldier facing front. The silver-armoured shape of Captain Phasma was standing at the end, ready to salute. Finally, the ramp was lowered and the familiar shape of Ren strode down.

Hux frowned. Ren was limping, the steps uneven and if he didn't know better, he would guess the man was grimacing under his mask. His cowl was askew and his cloak-in all its having-seen-better-days glory-was flapping muddily around his muddy boots. In fact, the man was liberally covered in mud, looking like he'd fallen over in a mudpit. He gestured to Phasma who saluted briskly and then he walked forward to intercept his rival. It was no secret both men hated each other but they were both servants of Snoke and while the Supreme Leader had uses for them both, there was an unspoken understanding that neither would kill the other.

"Ren," the General said, his tone suitably cold. "What the kriff happened to you?"

"The resistance fighters are dead and their base destroyed," Ren said shortly through the mask. Hux scowled.

"And the intelligence the Supreme Leader sought?" he asked sharply.

"There was nothing found," Ren growled. Hux stiffened.

"Did you examine any of them?" he asked snidely, wondering if Ren had failed again. The masked man stopped.

"No," he bit out shortly. Hux rolled his eyes.

"You killed them all?" he guessed. "Snoke was very insistent about getting that intelligence…"

"And he ordered that I attacked the base on my own," Ren retorted, his voice bitter even through the vocoder. "They put up a fight."

"And once again I have to report on your failure," Hux hissed.

"Then you need to locate that intelligence," Ren hissed, limping forward. Hux frowned.

"What happened to you?" he snapped.

"Wildlife," Ren growled.

"Get that looked at!" Hux told him shortly. "I don't want to have to tell the Supreme Leader you've died of some wretched animal bite." Ren paused and glanced at him.

"I'm not about to make your life easier by conveniently vanishing," he growled and limped past. Hux folded his arms and watched him go, exhaling slowly to calm himself as Phasma walked up.

"The men report he was attacked by a small native bird," she reported, her voice wavering slightly. Hux stared at her incredulously.

"He was savaged by a bird?" he repeated.

"Apparently," she said. "Oh, he did kill it," she added.

"A _bird?_ "

Phasma paused.

"A bird," she reported. Then she paused. "GU-1919 reported it is listed as a 'Porg'-a species of vermin that infests planets across this sector." Hux's lips twitched and he had to try very hard not to laugh.

"He was savaged by vermin?" he repeated. "Kylo Ren? Snoke's attack dog? And the squad observed it?" Phasma nodded.

"In fact, it was captured by the shuttle cameras…" she offered. Hux's eyes gleamed.

"Show me."

-o0o-

The door closed in his room and Kylo Ren gave a sigh, shucking off his muddy cloak and cowl, taking off his mask and collapsing back to sit on the bed. He was tired, sore and his wounds needed treating. He glanced over to the melted, twisted mask of Darth Vader, resting on its pedestal and he shook his head. He didn't have the focus to do anything except get cleaned up and rest. Snoke would insist he meditated and used his pain and exhaustion to drive his descent into darkness…but he wasn't going to.

So instead, he went and had a shower, dressed the bite with bacta and also applied a patch to the wound in his side which was still raw and then he went to bed. Exhausted, aching and with his leg still throbbing, he closed his eyes, locked the door and drifted off to sleep…

His night was fractured with incomprehensible dreams, of water and wind, of warmth and something cooing against him, of a feeling of belonging and then of anger and fear and then…nothingness…

His eyes snapped open and he felt disorientated. The room was dark, the perspective looked wrong and he seemed to have wrapped himself up completely in his sheets. Wearily, he tried to throw them off but ended up scrambling and then falling out of the bed completely. He hit the floor with a thud and swore imaginatively.

And then he stiffened, for all he heard was the strange screeching of an animal.

In a second, he scrambled to his feet…and then he reeled. The bed loomed above him and the ceiling much further up. He tried to take a step…but he only waddled. Wondering if he had been poisoned by Hux, he rolled his eyes and glanced down…and then he froze.

Feathers. Naked scaly three-toed feet.

He spun and caught his reflection in the polished black metal of the wall.

He was a porg.


	2. Little Problems

**TWO: Little Problems**

Hux was aware that the stormtroopers were gossiping and for once he wasn't actively discouraging it. There were whispers, giggles and more whispers and the subject was…Ren. The General had watched the images himself, seeing the tall, powerful black-clad shape of Ren back away from a smallish bird-like creature that had proceeded to attack him and bite his leg. Sure, Ren had killed it afterwards but the damage had been done. The vid was doing the rounds of the ship and it was certain that it would make its way to the Supremacy.

Of course he should stop it in its tracks, ordering the troopers to erase the images. It was bad for morale, bad for discipline bad for… Well, it wasn't actually bad for Hux because it undermined Ren and thus strengthened his own position but there was always the lingering suspicion that Snoke would blame him for Ren's humiliation. He thinned his lips as he thought and then dismissed the thought.

Maybe he should get one of those porgs as a pet. It would certainly annoy Ren and that would be worth the effort on its own. Though Millicent, his rather brilliant and loyal cat, would certainly not approve…

He dismissed the nonsense and made his way to the Bridge to take the morning report.

-o0o-

A porg!

How the Kriff had he turned into a porg? How was that even possible?

He turned round- _waddling slowly,_ he thought angrily-and raised his arms. _Wings_. Whatever.

He summoned his lightsaber and the weapon flew through the air and hit him hard in the head, knocking him to the floor.

Everything went black.

Eventually he regained consciousness and he blinked. Dazed, his vision spinning, he wondered whether this was just some hallucination caused by his treatment by Snoke, whether this was some exotic punishment the Supreme Leader had devised.

Unreasonable anger rose in his throat, clearing his vision.

 _The Supreme Leader is wise._ That is what he had boldly stated to Han Solo, his father, just before he had murdered the man. A man who wasn't a good father but who had risked his life to try to reach him. And he shouldn't feel guilt for the action…but he did. Terrible guilt.

And Snoke knew.

So he could try to get to Snoke and ask his master to save him. But he knew that Snoke considered him weak, a disappointment, a pathetic boy in a mask. Would Snoke make any effort to alleviate his…condition…or would he confine just him to a cage as an amusement…or worse, simply kill him?

If he could change into a different species, he could certainly change back. He just needed to know how. And to do that, he needed an ally.

He scrambled up, his side still hurting and head throbbing. Somehow he needed to get out of here. The door hadn't sensed his presence and…

He had locked it.

He groaned (a warbling noise, he thought sourly) and focussed on the Force, then launched himself up, reaching for the door control…and then he fell back to the floor. Hitting the floor hard, he tried again…and on the third time, he remembered to try flapping his wings and that held him up long enough to focus the Force to smash the lock. He was just bouncing on the floor again as the door opened.

Scrambling up, he bounced to the doorway. Poking his head round the door, he scuttled into the corridor, checking there were no stormtroopers around. Apart from it being humiliating, there was the small matter of them possibly treating him as an animal and capturing him. He paused and focussed, allowing his altered senses to access the Force, seeking the familiar disturbance of Hux. He knew the man well enough and he was the best option…because Ren didn't have friends. His closest allies, his brothers, the Knights of Ren, were off Snoke-only-knew where and in their absence, his enemy was the closest person Kylo had.

Except the man was on the Bridge and there was no way he could get there undetected. His only hope was to make it to Hux's quarters and wait there. And hope he could find some way of communicating with the General.

"What's that?"

He jumped. As he had been considering, two stormtroopers had rounded the corner and were staring at him with curiosity and not a little menace.

"I believe…that's a Porg…" one said, walking closer. "You know like the one that beat up Ren?"

Kylo bristled with anger. _That was what they were saying?_

The other stormtrooper walked closer and inclined his head, inspecting the small shape facing him.

"What's it doing here?" he asked.

"It's really cute," the first guard said, crouching down.

 _CUTE?_ Kylo thought he would explode with rage.

It got worse as the first stormtrooper tried to reach out and scratch him under his non-existent chin. He promptly bit the man's hand.

"OW! That thing bit me!" The stormtrooper was shaking his hand-his glove had prevented any real injury- as he recoiled, scrambled to his feet and kicked Kylo.

He bounced back and hit the wall with an embarrassing squeak.

_Could this get any worse?_

"Kriffing thing's dangerous-and it's vermin," the second stormtrooper snapped and raised his blaster. "I'll dispose of it!"

Kylo looked up and saw the stormtrooper target him. He raised his wing and focussed every ounce of Force he could access, shoving the man back a whole pace, throwing his aim off.

It wasn't the result he had anticipated, because Kylo was really really _really_ pissed now and had intended the man planted about a foot deep in the wall. The man started and readjusted his aim-and in that moment, Kylo managed to shove the access panel to the ventilation system open and skidded in, hearing a blast echo behind him, the shock bouncing him forward and singing his butt. The stormtroopers were shouting but he didn't care as he accelerated along the metal floor.

Now he was _totally_ pissed. Waddling painfully forwards, his butt aching, he carefully memorised the men's Force signatures so once he was turned back, he would revisit the encounter. Very _very_ painfully.

But first, he had to find Hux and get the man to help him get restored to his human form again…

-o0o-

Hux had surreptitiously watched the vid of the porg attacking Kylo three times and it still wasn't getting old. He had carefully tuned out the whispers but there was a small sense of amusement as the Bridge staff were referring to Ren as 'the Porg killer'. Captain Peavey had frowned but the man despised Ren almost as much as Hux did so the two shared a slight nod and then Hux had returned to his quarters to continue working.

He checked the lock for booby traps, let himself in and removed his hat, checking his hair was still perfectly in place and then glancing around.

"Millicent? Daddy's home!" he called unselfconsciously. Millicent was abnormally smart, very precise and she was affectionate…in her own restrained way. So he waited for her to mosey in at her own speed…but when nothing happened, he walked through into his living area. He had taken the suite due to him as a General and had ensured that his quarters were light, clean and precisely ordered, with study, living area and bedroom with a spotless fresher. Millicent was a clean animal, accepting her domain but she always greeted Hux when he returned because he would deliver the acceptable level of attention and, of course, food.

What he hadn't anticipated as he walked into the living area was finding Millie standing stock still, her back arched and ears flattened back, her ginger fur puffed up as much as it could be. Her eyes were narrowed and he could see she was furious and ready to attack, the angry flick of her tail the most obvious outwards sign of her anger. And as he followed her line of sight, he could see she was facing off against a stubby bird that was backed into a corner. A low growl was issuing from her throat. Hux stared at the creature and realised it was a porg.

"Millie," he murmured, staring at the creature. It was a little different from the one from the vid, for it was white and black, not white and brown. And the little bird had a wound cut diagonally across its right eye, the scar a livid red against the white feathers. The porg jerked its head to look at him as he spoke…and in that moment, Millicent pounced. She gave a huge yowl and landed on the creature, digging her claws into its wing and back. Struggling, the porg gave an ululating squeal and tried to dislodge the angry ginger cat. Hux frowned.

"What…?' he murmured. How had a porg got into his quarters-especially since his lock definitely hadn't been opened since he had left this morning? Was it a prank from the troopers-or maybe some childish revenge by Ren? Sure, he wouldn't put it past the man to try to humiliate Hux in revenge for his own indignity. And then he started as the porg squirmed, raised its other wing and slapped the cat across the face.

Millicent yowled and swiped her claws across the porg's face. Squeaking in indignation, the porg backhanded the cat with his wing and swatted again, sending the ginger cat flying across the room. Millicent landed with a hiss and prepared to attack. But the porg shuffled forward, raising a wing and the cat rose a couple of feet in the air, hissing and spitting with anger. Hux's jaw dropped and he stared at the porg…

…a porg in black and white, with a definite wound to its side, a fresh wound across the right side of its face and what seemed to be a wound to its leg. And it seemed to be levitating his cat. He took a pace closer, glad no one could see and vowing that if this was a prank by anyone, he would space them himself. But there was a prickling in the back of his neck that he couldn't ignore and despite how insane it sounded, he had the eeriest sense of recognition.

"Ren?" he murmured.


	3. The Force-wielding Porg

**THREE: The Force-wielding Porg**

Armitage Hux had done some very strange and difficult things in his life. Murdering various people hadn't been that hard-though killing his own father had been slightly more of a challenge-but far and away the hardest was standing in his own quarters, staring at a black and white porg levitating his beloved Millicent and asking it if it was, in fact, Kylo Ren.

And he thought his sanity may be leaving him completely when he damned creature gave a small, embarrassed nod.

For a long moment, Hux was engulfed in a tsunami of emotions: shock, dismay, amusement, horror and a brief thought that he could kill Ren and no one would notice! But then he shook himself: there was something inexplicable going on here and if it could take down Ren, who was definitely the most dangerous single fighter in the First Order, then it was a palpable threat to Hux himself. So he pulled himself together and glared at the creature.

"Put my cat down at once!" he snapped.

The porg gave him a plaintive look but refused.

"I said now!" Hux growled. The porg raised his wing, demonstrating fresh claw-marks on the feathers, and pointed at the hissing Millicent and the General took a slow, irritated breath. "Fine!" he spat and walked over to retrieve Millicent, stroking the growling cat."There, there, Millie my dear. Daddy needs to talk to the nasty porg now. Come with me and I'll give you a little snack." And then he disappeared into his bedroom, still soothing the angry ginger cat and stroking her soothingly. After a few moments of fussing Millicent and thinking swiftly, Hux re-emerged into the living area, glancing around to locate the creature as he firmly closed the door.

The porg had clambered onto the couch and was observing him with its big black eyes in its whimsical face. Hux walked forward and looked down on it: if it was actually Ren, he was going to enjoy the novelty of looking down on the man.

"Get off the furniture!" Hux snapped. "I don't permit vermin to sit on the couch!" The porg gestured towards the door. "And no, Millie is not vermin. You, on the other hand…"

The Porg gestured and Hux folded his arms.

"So, Ren-how did you contrive to end up as…this?" Hux asked as the creature glared. Then it shrugged clumsily. "How precisely do you intend to conduct this? Hand signals? Charades? Typing on a datapad?" There was a sign of interest so Hux spun on his heel. "Come," he said curtly and strode into his office, watching the Porg jump clumsily from the couch and waddle humorously into the office. Hux glanced back and then had to look away, his lips twitching. The Porg glared as it managed to get onto the chair with a combination of jumping and flapping its ludicrously stubby wings. Then it bounced onto the desk and glared at the datapad.

"Take care," Hux managed, his voice wavering hopelessly with suppressed laughter. The Porg looked offended. "That's my favourite pad!" Giving a jarring squeal, the creature gingerly stabbed at the keyboard function, clumsily mashing up the letters. Hux tutted and shook his head. The porg tried tapping with its wing, which was a little more successful and he managed to type

IU ASM KYU;LO TREN

"Pathetic," Hux muttered as the Kylo-Porg gave him the porg version of a filthy look before leaning back and stiffening. Before him, the keys began to light one after the other, typing hesitantly but more accurately.

I WOKE LIKE THIS. STORMTROOPERS TRIED TO SHOOT ME. AND YOUR CAT ATTACKED AND BIT ME. IT IS VERMIN TOO.

"I suggest, if you want my assistance, that you apologise immediately for that slur on my pet," Hux told him shortly. "She is a pedigree animal and perfectly trained. You invaded her space and she can smell something wrong about you. She had every right to defend herself against you."

SNOKE WULL KNOW Kylo typed laboriously using the Force.

"And will he care?" Hux taunted him. "He's very disappointed by you. If you end up as a porg, is he going to waste a second thought on you or will be want to see what roast Porg tastes like?"

The Porg looked up at him and there was a definite look of betrayal in its big black eyes. Hux stared. Ren the porg looked miserable, somewhat battered and down on his luck with the scar obvious on its face and his butt feathers singed. His feathers were disarrayed from Millie's attack and he felt a surge of pride at her actions in protecting him.

"So why are you here?" Hux asked the porg and Kylo's head dropped a little.

I NEEED YOR HELP IN FINDING OUT HOW THIS HAPENED AND GETTING BAK TO NORMAL

"And you expect me to expend considerable effort in understanding your unprecedented transformation when in the same circumstances, you would walk on by-or kick me in the process?" Hux sneered. There was a pause as the Porg stared at him and then at the screen.

PLEASE

Hux stared. It was still surreal that he was buying this fantasy and more surreal that Ren the porg had actually said please.

"Did you say please?" he checked.

YES

"Are you sure?"

I CULD HAVE KILLED YOU A HUNDRED TIMES

"And I saved your life on Starkiller, in case you forget," Hux reminded him sharply.

ONLY BECAUS SNOKE TOLD YU TO

"I could have legitimately been too late to save you," Hux hissed. "No one could have proven anything. I risked my life for you. And I have spent too long clearing up after your infantile tantrums. You have caused hundreds of thousands of credits worth of damage due to your temper. You have tried to choke me! And you have insulted my cat!"

DONT BE AN ASS

"You're not encouraging me to help you," Hux told him sharply.

HAVIN A BAD DAY. The porg's body slumped.

"You are aware that you could be described as cute," Hux pointed out.

I AM NOT CUTE. Ren the Porg was looking offended. The General chuckled.

"Actually…you are," he insisted.

WILL YU HELP ME PLEASE.

Hux sighed. If he didn't help the animal, who would know? Except Snoke, he suspected…and the Supreme Leader had asked him to rescue Ren previously. Maybe having Ren owe him his life again would be worth the irritation.

"Apologise for insulting Millicent." He folded his arms and glared at the Porg. Ren paused.

SORRRY.

"Apology accepted," Hux said. "Now if I'm to investigate, I'll need to get you scanned-discretely-to see if that offers any clues. And we'll need to consider living arrangements. Hmm. I can't have my service droid finding a piece of vermin wandering my quarters. So I think I can find a cage we can keep you in…" Giving a furious squawk, the porg flapped his wings, one catching the data pad and tossing it across the room. There was a crash as it smashed on the floor. Instinctively, Hux cuffed the creature across its white feathered face and the porg flew across to meet the wall hard with a pathetic little squeak, before sliding down and landing in a heap on the floor.

"Agh! Even as a bird you're a destructive menace!" Hux snapped and then gritted his teeth as he glanced at the little pile of creature and felt a pang of guilt. It was unlikely Ren wanted to be turned into a damned porg and it wasn't as if he was _that_ much of a menace at present. He sighed and walked to drop to a knee by Ren.

"I'm going to pick you up," he said stiffly and when the Porg didn't move, he slid his hands under the surprisingly warm and solid body and lifted him up, then carried him and placed him onto the couch. "And now I need to find a new datapad…and whatever porgs eat…" he muttered.

-o0o-

Kylo regained consciousness and lay still. For a brief moment, he had no idea where he was but as his eyes focussed, he saw the shape of the Scavenger, sitting on a stone seat about six feet in front of him, her head bowed and eyes unfocussed with thought. She was wearing a grey sleeveless vest and pants that ended just below her knees with heavy boots on her feet. Then she looked up and saw him.

 _What are you doing here?_ he asked urgently, recoiling and sitting up. But, to his horror, all he heard was the ululating cry of a porg. Her brow furrowed.

"Hello there," she said kindly. "What are you doing?"

Instinctively he bounced to his feet-such as they were-and flung an arm-wing-towards her.

 _You will tell me where you are!_ he commanded. Rey smiled at the squawk.

"You're a cute little fellow," she commented, leaning forward to inspect him.

 _I. AM. NOT. CUTE!_ Kylo yelled. To his horror, he found he was bouncing up and down with agitation. Rey walked forward cautiously and crouched before him, tilting her head to inspect him.

"You're hurt," she noted gently. "Don't worry, little guy. I won't hurt you. I just want to help…"

 _You can't be doing this-the strain of projecting over this distance would kill you!_ Kylo told her, backing away a step until his back hit the back of the couch. The warble was still sounding as she reached out towards him.

"How did you get that scar?' she murmured, gently reaching out. He stiffened and resisted the urge to bite her. And then her fingers made contact with his face.

Both their eyes widened as Kylo felt the sudden brush of her mind against his, similar to but very different to the uninvited intrusions both had experienced during the interrogation. Her lips parted as she stared at the creature.

"KYLO REN?" she gasped as she stared into the black eyes of the porg.

 _Scavenger!_ he replied bitterly. She blinked.

"You can talk?" she asked, staring at him.

 _No,_ he said shortly. _I…_ And then he paused, shocked. _You can hear me?_

"Obviously," she told him sharply.

 _No one else can,_ Kylo told her.

"You're still a monster," she told him, beginning to pull away.

 _Actually, I appear to be a small, cute bird that people either want to cage or shoot,_ he told her.

"This is really you, not a trick?" Rey asked, not moving away.

 _If I was planning to trick you, it wouldn't be as a small waddling bird that sounds like it's being kicked whenever it opens its mouth,_ he told her.

"So how did this happen?" she asked him, frowning. "And where are you?"

 _On my ship. And you?_ She smiled.

"Safe. And there are porgs where I am as well," she revealed. "They're pretty destructive."

 _One bit me. I woke like this,_ Kylo said bitterly. She hummed as she considered.

"Probably the Force repaying you for the evil you have done," she commented. He snorted.

 _The Force doesn't work like that,_ he told her, his tone sneering. _It is an energy field produced by all living things that permeates the Universe. It doesn't make judgements on the merits of one person's belief against another's._

"Then how…?"

 _If I knew I could turn myself back,_ he told her. Then he paused. _I'd probably not let one bite you though._

"Thanks for the warning," she said, her tone cooler. "How are you doing this?"

 _I'm not,_ he told her. _And neither are you. I'd try to research it but I have other things on my mind._

The sounds started to echo and he saw her fading from view. She smiled.

"You are cute as a porg, though," she told him as she vanished.

He sagged against the back of the couch. Not only was the only person who he could actually communicate with the one person he didn't want to, the person who had cut his face open and humiliating defeated him on Starkiller Base, but she was half a Galaxy away and would in no way want to help him.

He was probably doomed.


	4. The Problem with Kylo

**FOUR: The Problem with Kylo**

Hux returned to his cabin to find the Porg pacing back and forth, something that looked so ridiculous that he almost started laughing before he could stop himself. The little porg waddled to a stop and cast Hux a deeply unfriendly look-as unfriendly as an outrageously cute small bird could manage.

"You're going to wear a groove in my carpet," Hux warned as Kylo ignored him.

 _You think I care?_ he snarked, making a pathetic squeak. Hux sighed and crouched down, offering up a plate of what looked like grey kibble. He backed away.

"Databanks indicate this meets the nutritional needs of a Porg," Hux explained as Kylo leaned forward and took a bite. He chewed the stuff and then spat it out.

 _That's attempted poisoning,_ he complained.

"Well, I'm not getting anything else," Hux told him sharply. "Millicent eats her formulated nutrition without complaint." Instinctively, Kylo glanced behind him-almost falling over in the effort since Porgs had extremely limited neck mobility. Then he sighed as Hux placed a bowl in front of him. "It also stated that you require water." Casting the ginger General a suspicious look, Kylo leaned forward and took a long drink, immediately feeling easier. He hadn't realised he was extremely thirsty. "You are apparently a sea bird that feeds on fish and crustaceans, that live in small flocks on cliffs and raise young termed 'porglings'."

Kylo choked on his water and gave Hux a vicious stare.

 _I am Kylo Ren!_ he raged. _I am the apprentice of Snoke, the Heir to Vader! I will crush and destroy the enemies of the First Order and end the wretched chaos the Republic has caused. I am not cute. I am not sweet. I am not a porg and I will never raise any young called porglings! And if I find out who is responsible for this indignity, I will ensure they die in misery and pain and-and lots of feathers!_

Hux folded his arms.

"You know, your tantrums lack that certain…edge…since you got porged," he commented sarcastically. "That was almost cute. And you were bouncing up and down as you squeaked."

The porg face-palmed…well, slapped its face with a wing. Hux sighed.

"Sooner or later, you're going to have to eat your optimised nutrition," he commented as Kylo waddled to the couch, scrambled to get up-little legs pedalling-and then collapsed against the cushion. In moments, he was asleep.

-o0o-

"If, in theory, there was an issue with Kylo Ren, how would you proceed?" Hux was standing in a small viewing port, gazing at the planet slowly turning below them. The Finalizer was awaiting new orders and was catching up with drills, required maintenance and repairs. Usually, Hux would chafe at the inactivity but since the loss of Starkiller, he was metaphorically licking his wounds.

_Though Ren was the one who was actually injured. His wounds had been pretty serious, to be honest._

He blinked. Why had his mind slid to his rival, to a man he hated? Why should he consider that monster at all?

"What sort of issue?" Phasma's cool tone drew him back to the present. The Captain was ice-cold, someone who was loyal to the First Order and single-minded in her dedication to her own preservation and advancement. Not a woman to expose any weakness to…but perhaps one he could cultivate with a shared problem.

"Health," Hux said decisively. Phasma hummed, walking to stand at his side, her silver armour reflecting the blue planet.

"Is that why he hasn't been seen today?" she asked. Hux nodded. "And how have you come to know?" she asked with insight.

He paused for a long beat. The obvious answer was that he had the man under surveillance at all times, that Ren couldn't stick his big nose out of his room without Hux knowing…but that would betray too much of his own feelings towards the man and that would also be a weakness.

"He sought my help," he said flatly. Phasma looked at him slightly.

"And you are speaking to me…?"

"Because Ren's incapacity is a problem for us all," Hux commented.

"You mean that you suspect the Supreme Leader would not accept your explanation as to how Ren ended in…his current predicament," she guessed.

"I mean…he needs my help," Hux admitted.

"And you doubt the wisdom of helping him?" she asked. Hux grasped his hands behind his back and stared at the planet.

"I suspect any efforts I make would not yield one molecule of gratitude or reciprocation in the future," he said. Phasma hummed again.

"You may be correct-but Ren is self-absorbed and from my observations, he seems as if he would count a debt as a personal affront…and thus would do his utmost to repay it as soon as possible to ensure that he did no feel it could hang over him or influence his actions in the future." Hux nodded.

"So it may be worthwhile making the efforts to assist him," he mused. Phasma nodded.

"While Ren is definitely a menace and a man who lacks self-control, such traits are only tolerated if they have been cultivated and encouraged by superiors," she reminded Hux. "The Supreme Leader wants Ren unstable and has ensured that he is. He wants him angry and a monster. And he will certainly be unhappy that his protege has come to harm. You are the Senior Officer…it is your decision if you decide to treat him as under your command. or not."

_He's not._

"I will ask you for your assistance when required, Captain," Hux decided. "The more people who are aware of the situation, the greater leverage I have." And then he gave a thin smile, his pale blue eyes turning to inspect Phasma. She nodded.

"Very good, sir," she said. "I await my instructions."

Hux listened to her leave and exhaled slowly. Phasma was capable of covering his back and would do what was required if he demanded it. The part of him that had disposed of Brandol Hux was whispering to kill the wretched thing and say Ren had disappeared or defected…but the larger part of Armitage Hux was reminding him that he still didn't know how this happened…and that was therefore a potential threat to Hux himself. Besides…and he hated himself for thinking this…Ren the Porg was really really cute. He was recording the creature's antics because, when Ren was himself again, he could review the footage and savour the situation once more. And it would always be there to taunt Ren with…

So when he returned to his quarters, he was surprised to find no sign of the Porg. He scouted around and found Millicent agitated as well. Frowning, he stalked to his data pad and called up the surveillance he had programmed to always activate when there was anyone in his quarters other than Hux himself. Unsurprisingly, he found a new file…with a team of five stormtroopers and three technicians storming into his quarters, shooting the porg with a blaster set on stun and cruelly ramming the unconscious prog into a small cage and carrying him off.

The time stamp was over an hour earlier.

Anxiety rolled around his chest and he stabbed the com, directly summoning Lieutenant Mitaka. The man's face appeared on the holodisplay instantly.

"Why were my quarters invaded?" Hux spat, his eyes blazing. Mitaka's expression froze, though he looked like a rodent caught in the headlights.

"There had been reports of vermin on the ship and a standard life-scan sweep showed one in your quarters," he reported. "A team was dispatched to capture the creature." Hux ground his teeth.

"FIVE stormtroopers as well as THREE techs?" he asked sarcastically. "What was this lifeform that had infiltrated by quarters? A Rathtar?" Mitaka looked trapped.

"The species is extremely invasive and difficult to eliminate," he began.

"A Rankor, maybe?" Hux pressed.

"One had already attacked two stormtroopers…" Mitaka gabbled.

"A Wampa perhaps?" Hux pressed. "And did you not imagine I would have noticed such a beast rampaging in my personal rooms? What was this ferocious predator?" The lieutenant sagged.

"A Porg, sir," he said.

"A PORG?" Hux snapped, his stomach lurching. "You mean those cute little birds?"

"They are very difficult to remove once established…" Mitaka argued.

"Harmless sea birds…" Hux told him sharply.

"But there is a vid of one of them attacking and defeating Kylo Ren…"

"WHERE IS MY PORG!?" Hux screamed at him. Mitaka went ashen.

" _Your_ Porg?' he whispered, looking as if he was going to be asked to arrange his own execution next. Hux clenched his fists.

"My Porg,' he spat. "I acquired one from the planet when I saw how useful they were in repelling lightsaber-wielding cowl-wearing tantrum-throwing unwanted passengers on my ship! I am a General of the First Order! I can have as many wild and exotic creatures in my quarters as I wish with no requirements to clear anything with anyone else! And since when did anyone feel the right to invade my quarters without my permission?"

"Um…sir…Captain Peavey agreed with the plan to exterminate any invasive…" Mitaka began.

" _Captain_ Peavey?" Hux raged. "The man under my direct command? My subordinate? By what authority has he overriden my personal security codes?" Mitaka's eyes widened.

"Um…you may need to discuss that with him," he suggested. Hux leaned forward.

"WHERE. IS. MY. PORG?" he said in a subzero voice. Mitaka licked his lips.

"It was taken to garbage disposal," he finally confessed. "Unit 6827, level G-4."

"Then you, the stormtroopers, the techs and Captain Peavey will meet me there in five minutes," Hux said ruthlessly.

"Sir…I…" Mitaka mumbled.

"Four minutes fifty seconds," Hux told him. "I will have executed anyone who fails to be there waiting for me!" And he cut the link before looking over at Millicent, who was cleaning her face fastidiously and pretending not to be paying attention. He took a deep breath, then rose and scratched her behind the ear, allowing the simple action to soothe his nerves. "I know, Millie my darling. But the nasty Porg is Ren and I think…I need to know how this happened to him. And maybe having something over him will be worth the effort…" He rose and . "And now I need to go and fish him out of the garbage crusher…and hope he hasn't already been killed…"


	5. A trip down memory lane

**FIVE: A trip down memory lane**

Kylo awoke, his head pounding and butt wet. For a second, he was disorientated and wondered if he had been in battle...but then he realised he was in a dark, damp place with hard metal bars sticking into his side. There was an indescribable smell assaulting his nostrils and his head was muzzy with the after-effects of being stunned.

He growled. He wasn't certain if Porgs were even meant to be able to growl but somehow, he managed a fair approximation of the sound as he tried to get up. And then he realised there was only a dim red light that his Porg vision-with much larger and sensitive eyes than a human-could see in adequately. There was detritus, debris and rotting garbage all around…and one small porg in a cage. His mind clicked into gear and he was almost incandescent with fury.

They had thrown him into the garbage compactor.

He scrabbled to manage to stand in his listing cage, banged his head on the bars and found the lock of the cage. It wasn't sophisticated or even difficult but his head was still aching and he was realising that he had far fewer powers through the Force than he had in his own body. Or at least, they seemed to be weaker. He growled again: it made him feel a little better. But as he shifted his weight to consider the lock, the cage tilted and rolled off the garbage pile he was on, splashing into the foul water. He gave a shocked howl, flapped his wings and then the cage sank.

Flapping up towards the surface, he snatched a mouthful of air and then dived, finding the porg body working much better in the water. Ducking down, he focussed on the lock and gathered all his anger and all his frustration to smash it. A surge of triumph ran through him and he swam down, kicking against the door until the cage shifted and he was able to wriggle and force his way out through the small door, before shooting up towards the surface and gathering a big lungful of air. And then he flapped wetly and eventually scrabbled back up onto the pile of trash, breathing heavily.

Unbidden, a memory whirled up, one of the few times he could recall his father and Chewie being back when he was a little older, one of the very few shining days before he was exiled to the Temple and effectively sent from the family as an insolvable problem. And that was his father relating the tale of how he met his mother, how they rescued her from the Death Star and ended up down the garbage chute, trying not to be crushed in the garbage compactor and the creature that lived in the garbage area, which had tried to kill Luke. And he realised unwillingly that his father had been right.

_Garbage disposal compactors really stank._

"Having a bad day?"

He started and fell back into the water. Spashing and spluttering, he clambered out to see the Scavenger standing a few feet away-just at the wall of the trash compactor. Her hair looked damp…but then he was in no position to talk.

 _You have no idea._ Her eyebrows raised.

"You know this doesn't change a thing?" she asked him pointedly.

_Except I appear to be a small bird and am no threat to anyone any more._

"You are still a monster. Have you considered that maybe you deserve all of this?"

 _Are you with Luke?_ he asked, digging his toes into the garbage. She nodded absently. _And has he disappointed you yet?_ There was a quick flick of the eyes that gave him all the answer he needed.

"He's told me all about you," she retorted defensively. He snorted, a sound that porgs seemed to make rather well.

 _No he hasn't,_ Kylo snarked back. _Did he include the fact that I woke with him standing over me, his lightsaber in his hand? That he was planning to kill me-in my sleep? I summoned my training saber to parry his blow and I collapsed the roof of my quarters on us because it was the only thing I could do! He was my Master, my trainer, my Uncle, who my parents had entrusted their only child to-and he tried to murder me in my sleep! When I got out, the other students attacked me and I defended myself._

"And why would they attack you?" she asked him, suspiciously. He waved his wings, bouncing a little in agitation.

 _I collapsed the roof of my hut and apparently killed our Master,_ he retorted. _In the process, I killed to defend myself and the Temple caught on fire. I knew no one would believe me-and that my mother would side with her brother. She always did-and I was always last in her list of priorities, her awkward, angry, too-powerful son. She would never believe me, never believe that Luke could do anything wrong. I couldn't go home. Snoke was my only option._

She stared at him.

"You're filthy," she commented, her expression troubled. He could tell that she was analysing his words, analysing the sincerity of what he had blurted out without meaning to. Just as he could almost feel her emotions as well. "What's happened?" He shrugged.

 _I think…they've thrown me into the garbage,_ he said and for a moment, pity flashed in her eyes.

"Where are you?' she asked and he sighed, casting around.

 _It says 6827 door 1A,_ he said. She rolled her eyes.

"I mean where did this happen?" she asked him more directly.

 _Valpanthus 3,_ he reported. _Grid 824-GY-451._ She frowned and he realised that she was calculating where that was.

"Do you want me to call someone to let them know where you are?" she asked quietly. He started and looked at her, big eyes in his sad and mucky face looking extra-pathetic. Then he nodded. Quietly he gave her his personal priority code and Hux's personal com frequency.

 _I'll change it when I return to my human form,_ he promised and she smiled.

"I won't abuse it," she said quietly and blinked. "And I'll make the call…" And then she faded. He sagged.

 _Perfect,_ he grumbled and scrabbled a bit higher on the pile of refuse, dislodging detritus which splashed into the fetid water. There was a ripple in the scummy fluid and his porg-senses were all on edge. And extending his senses using the Force, there was definitely something moving in the water.

Something hunting.

Something that he suspected was considering porg for dinner.

_Just perfect…_

-o0o-

Hux arrived in the control area of level G4 to find the ten shapes he was expecting, all looking uncomfortable or just plain furious. Captain Peavey was especially angry, his eyes glinting as he inspected the General, who he despised in any case. Mitaka looked anxious and the techs and stormtroopers merely stood to attention, hoping this would soon be over. Hux paced back and forth, glaring at them.

"You invaded my quarters and stole a very precious item," he announced. Peavey scowled.

"There was a piece of vermin in your quarters…" he began but Hux stopped in front of him and glared.

"My quarters are locked and only those I choose are permitted entrance," he growled through his teeth. "You violated that and took my pet."

"I assure you that your cat was wholly unharmed!" Peavey protested.

"My Porg," Hux snapped. "A little companion for Millicent…and rumour has it, something that Ren completely detests."

"But…they're vermin," Peavey protested as Hux drew his blaster.

"That was my pet," he snapped, then gestured to the garbage compactor. "In you go. And don't come out until you have found him." The stormtroopers and techs shared a glance that very clearly expressed their displeasure until Hux gestured with the blaster. "Now!"

Peavey glared and then walked to the chute in a display of leading from the front and, without hesitation, he dived in. The stormtroopers and techs followed him as Hux took a deep breath.

"Idiots," he growled as Mitaka prepared to jump in as well. "I meant you to use the kriffing door!" Stopping himself in the nick of time, Mitaka nodded urgently and walked to the door, opening it and peering into the fetid gloom, now filled with cussing and sound of several people splashing and making inappropriate comments about Hux's mother. Hearing the General fidget, he jumped in as well while Hux backed away a few paces as a strong waft of the most fetid air imaginable swirled around him.

Then his com beeped. He scowled and snatched it up.

"Hux!" he snapped. There was a pause and a female voice spoke.

" _I am calling on behalf of Kylo Ren_ ," she said. Hux stared at the com in fury.

"Who is this?' he snapped.

" _That doesn't matter,_ " she said. " _I've just spoken to him and he's stuck in a trash compactor…number 6827 by door 1A._ " Hux frowned.

"How can you speak to him?" he asked. "He's…"

" _Yes, I know he's a porg,"_ the woman said in an exasperated voice. " _A very cute one with a little scar over his eye…_ " Hux froze.

"No one knows that," he said in a low voice as the splashes and complaints continued from the trash compactor. "And I doubt anyone would have seen his face…the medical technicians are sworn to secrecy and…"

" _I gave it to him so I recognised it,_ " the voice said and Hux's face twisted into a scowl.

"The Scavenger?" he sneered.

" _I have a name,_ " she protested. " _I…_ "

"And how can you speak to him? He's…an animal!" Hux hissed. There was a pause.

" _The Force,_ " she conceded. " _I don't know how it works. Nor does he, I think. But I offered to let you know he's in a trash compactor. He looks quite pathetic. And filthy._ "

"Just perfect," Hux muttered. "Thank you. I…" And then he paused. "You can understand him. I can't…I may need your help…" There was a pause.

" _I'll think about it,_ " Rey said and cut the connection as Hux frowned.

"Curiouser and curiouser," he mumbled.

"GOT IT!" The shout came up, rapidly followed by a growl, splashing and yells.

"It bit me!"

"Hey…there's something else in here…"

"Something brushed against my leg!"

"Weapons hot…"

"That thing threw a distributer at me…"

"OW!"

"There's definitely something here…"

"Fire at anything that moves!"

"NOT ME!"

"It's got my leg!"

_SPLASH!_

"Where the kriff has he gone?"

"Spread out…"

Mitaka emerged, followed by an absolutely trash-encrusted Peavey with a very filthy porg in his arms. Kylo waited until they had gotten out of the trash compactor and were standing in the control room before he bit Peavey very hard on the arm.

"OW!"

Hux rolled his eyes and scooped the grubby and soaking shape of Kylo in his arms.

"There you are," he said in a soppy voice. "Daddy will look after you now. The nasty men will pay for nearly killing my little Ren…"

"Ren?" Peavey's tone was incredulous. Hux gave a nasty smile.

"Since a porg defeated Ren, I could hardly call mine anything else!" he smirked.

"Ren?"

"I suggest you get that bite looked at," Hux commented. "They can have…unfortunate effects on your health."

 _Like turning you cute and simultaneously making everyone want to kill you_ , Kylo grumbled. Hux nodded at the squawk.

"I couldn't have put it better myself," he murmured and turned for the door. "Any more incursions into my quarters-or if anything happens to this porg-then I will execute those who have trespassed-and all of you as well." He glared at the Captain. "See that my privacy is not compromised ever again." And then he paused. "And do get a shower, Captain. Your uniform is a disgrace!"

And with that, he stalked off down the corridor with the porg in his arms.


	6. Allies and Cuddles

**SIX: Allies and Cuddles**

Kylo was conflicted. He should still be fuming, consumed by rage at his predicament and raging at the treatment that had been meted out to him. But there was a part of him that had been relieved at being retrieved by Hux, being carried rather carefully to the General's quarters and treated…if not with affection, then at least with some consideration. Hux had taken the filthy porg directly into his fresher and had sluiced him down in the warm water before soaping him fastidiously clean. Shocked, Kylo had then been patted dry and placed on the table with a bowl of water and another bowl of what looked like fish. And before he could stop himself, he had wolfed the lot down, taken a huge drink and had curled up on Hux's chair. He fell asleep to the sounds of the fresher as the General had needed to remove the aroma of trash-encrusted porg.

When he woke, Hux had finished the shower that he had desperately required after carrying an incredibly mucky and smelly trash-covered porg and was gone-presumably back to work-but Kylo realised on inspection that his own data pad was resting on top of the table. So he had bounced up, his little legs pinwheeling and stubby wings flapping wildly and after he had landed very clumsily, he had activated the device, using the Force to carefully type in his queries.

First, he reviewed everything in the databanks on porgs-astonishingly little, though it echoed what Hux had said-and he ordered his next meals via the droid to ensure he did have food that was suitable for his current body and palatable. Then he researched everything he could on the planet, Valpanthus 3-and was interested to note that it had been subjected to a period of increased solar output coinciding with a meteor shower that had bathed the planet in novel viruses as well as higher than optimal radiation. The porgs were the highest form of life surviving the catastrophe and they had multiplied in the absence of any predators or any other threat. Considering things carefully, he used Hux's name to order an exobiologist to perform some scans and check if there was anything unusual about 'his' porg. He had copied Hux into the request so the General was aware-just in case.

Thankfully, the scientist had been an older female named Jairo Grantz and had been professional and respectful, entering after Hux had stalked into his own quarters, having been requested to give the scientist access at his convenience. Ignoring Hux's sulks, Kylo had been approached with care and had been reassured like a skittish wild animal, rather than a leader of the First Order. From his readings, he knew porgs were supposed to be curious and friendly towards humans…though his mind treacherously slid back to the creature that ambushed and attacked him…so he gave what he hoped what was an inoffensive chirp and allowed the scientist to scan him, measure him and take swabs from his feet, his mouth and a blood spot from his leg. She turned to Hux.

"You have a healthy male Porg there, sir," she said. "There were more viral particles in his bloodstream than usual and I will forward the report as soon as sequencing is available. He's deficient in protein and some trace elements-so I will recommend supplements. And those wounds need treatment-here is an ointment that should help him heal up." Hux clasped his hands behind his back and nodded.

"Thank you," he said neutrally. "I will modify his diet accordingly." She nodded and let herself out as Hux glared at Kylo. "I should be annoyed that you saw fit to pull me from the daily briefing but I am not sure I actually want to hear a detailed analysis of every single engine on this vessel in the domains efficiency, thrust differentials, maintenance and proposed upgrades. So someone has earned himself some bonus sardines!"

Kylo cast him the most offended look he could possibly manage, though his stomach rumbled embarrassingly at the word 'sardines'. He tried to mime pointing at the scientist, gesturing to himself and then bouncing up and down but Hux sighed.

"Yes, I know you are endeavouring to uncover the origin of your condition and I appreciate that this represents a step forward but…" And then he frowned. "Have you pooped anywhere, by the way?"

Kylo went rigid with rage and gestured with his wing. A stylus flew threw the air and lightly glanced off Hux's arm before falling to the floor. The General burst out laughing and bent down to lift it up, twirling it replacing it on the desk. Then he frowned.

"That was…very unimpressive," he murmured. "I know in your normal form, you can lift huge weights, grab people by the throat-which I wish you would refrain from in my case-and tear through minds. And you can't do the latter at all, can you?" Kylo shook his head. "And your powers…have lessened?" Kylo considered and then nodded.

_When I first woke, I summoned my lightsaber with sufficient strength to knock myself out. Now I could only throw a stylus gently._

_I don't like the implications…_

"This may suggest there is a time limit to your condition within which we can alleviate it. If not…" Hux chewed his lip. "You may be…stuck…"

Kylo flopped back onto the table and gave a mournful warble. It had never for one second occurred to him that his predicament may be permanent for he had always believed that he would be able to restore his human form. There seemed to be no up sides to being a porg-apart from cuteness, which was of no value to Snoke-and worse, it did seem his Force abilities were diminishing. He had been kicked, hit, stunned and dropped in the garbage and no one cared for him, except Hux. And what would happen if the situation became permanent? Would his powers continue to fade until the left him completely? And what of his intellect, his human intelligence and knowledge? Would that dull, leaving him nothing but a mindless animal? He gave another miserable warble.

Then he stiffened as Hux awkwardly patted him on the head.

"There, there Ren," he said awkwardly. "I am sure we can alleviate your issues before that happens." Kylo have another groan and flapped his wings despondently. Even when he was in despair, he was unbearably cute. "Maybe you can work on exercising your powers-not on Millicent, before you even consider that!-while I finish the meeting. And after that, I will organise a mission back to the planet with the biologist you contacted and we can see if there is any clue…" There was a pause as the door alarm sounded and Hux narrowed his eyes. "Pull yourself together, Ren," the General hissed, straightening up and moving to sit behind his desk. Reluctantly, he sat down and watched the porg struggle to its feet, standing to one side of the data pad, scowling.

"COME!" Hux called as he unlocked the door. There was scarcely a second before the gleaming shape fo Phasma marches precisely in, her blaster rifle cradled in her arms. She snapped to attention.

"Sir!" she greeted him as Hux closed the door and motioned her to stand at ease.

"To what do I owe this meeting, Captain?" he asked precisely, his tone carefully cold. Phasma lifted her chin, a slight angling of her head indicating that she was trying to inspect the Porg on the desk.

"Sir. I came to ask you why five of my troopers were required to go garage chute diving and ended up attacked by some creature in the trash…but I think I know the reason," she began.

"They invaded my quarters and stole my pet," Hux told her coolly.

"And you really named him Ren?" she checked. He nodded.

"Captain…"

"I can see why," she said, resting her blaster on the desk and leaning forward. "Look, he's got a little scar on his face as well. And his little fluffbutt is sooooo cute! Where did you find him? Is he a good pet?" She scratched the porg under his chin as Kylo tried to back up a second, torn between outrage at being called cute and the fact she was making personal comments about his posterior.

 _I. AM. NOT. CUTE._ he squeaked. She chuckled.

"Maybe I should get one as well," she murmured. "They really are incredibly cute…oh look-he's bouncing up and down…"

"I think he's not keen on being referred to as cute," Hux said carefully, surreptitiously locking the door. "And Phasma…"

"Can I hold him?" she asked and scooped the shocked Ren up in his arms. "Ooh, he's lovely and warm..and just a solid little bundle of cuteness…you're huggable aren't you? Yes you are! _Yes you are!_ "

"Captain…" Hux persisted as he saw Ren struggling, his little wings flapping and legs wheeling. "I don't think he likes being squeezed like that!" Phasma gave him another squeeze and then reluctantly set him back down on the desk. "Are you okay?' he asked Kylo in a low voice. The porg shrugged.

"But won't Ren be furious when he learns you named a wild animal-like the one that attacked him-after him?" the Captain asked thoughtfully.

"He really does seem to have the superpower of making everyone think he's so cute all rationality leaves them," Hux murmured. "And no-Ren is fully and completely aware of the Porg, of his nomenclature and of everything that has happened since this morning."

"I haven't seen him all day," Phasma murmured. "Usually he prowls the Bridge or trains or causes havoc by destroying something or terrorising my troopers…"

"He's not very far from here," Hux said dryly.

"Those health issues you mentioned?" Phasma asked him astutely. Hux flicked a glance at Kylo.

"Indeed," he said. "They seem to be more problematic than first suspected. I may need to arrange a mission to the planet to investigate further…" Phasma paused and inspected him closely.

"About that, sir," she commented. "I have been investigating myself and the troopers on the transport back from the planet were adamant that no vermin hitched a ride back from the surface. And I can hardly see Ren smuggling one back. So how exactly did you get your hands on that porg?" Hux rested his hands flat on the desk and stared at the porg.

"I believe you are correct," he conceded. "No porgs were transported back to the Finalizer from the planet. I found this creature in my quarters attacking my cat…"

 _She attacked me!_ Kylo protested, flapping his wings, angrily. Hux arched an eyebrow.

"They were in combat," he amended, causing Phasma to stare at him.

"General?" she asked.

"The Porg…is Kylo Ren," he announced. Kylo gave him an accusing look. "There's no other way to put it and stop looking at me like that! You look like someone has just kicked you in the…fluffbutt."

"Excuse me, General-are you feeling well?" Phasma asked. "I am concerned that you require medical assistance. There is no way that creature can possibly be…"

Kylo flung his wing forward and channelled every ounce of his anger and bitterness at his situation into using the Force. Phasma stiffened and she rose from the ground, making a choking noise and clawing at her throat. Hux tutted.

"You must have really annoyed him. He could barely throw a stylus at me," he commented. "Ren-let her go. Please. We need her help."

Growling, Kylo released the pressure, feeling lightheaded with the effort. Phasma collapsed to her feet and staggered before righting herself. Her head snapped to inspect the bird intensely and then she slapped her fist across her breast.

"I apologise, sir-I didn't recognise you," she said contritely. Kylo nodded as Hux rolled his eyes.

"This is of the highest level of confidentiality," he said firmly. "Following his attack by the porg on Valpanthus 3, Ren woke…as he is. He has been examined by an exoscientist but it is likely we will need to gain further information from the planet and the local wildlife…"

"And you want me to cover for you?" she asked.

"I want you to come with us," Hux said. "And two of your most trusted-and discreet-troopers." Phasma paused.

"Discreet may be a problem," she confessed. "But I know the pair I can use." Hux glanced at Kylo. The porg shrugged.

"If word of this gets out, I will ensure that whoever leaked it will be stranded on that planet with those porgs," he said coldly. "And before then, I will ensure they spend some quality time with Kylo Ren…once he's restored to his usual…form."

Phasma nodded.

"Yes, sir," she said, reaching for her blaster rifle. And then she paused. "One request?" Hux rolled his eyes. "Can I have a final cuddle before we go?"


	7. It's Not Easy Being A Porg

**Seven: It's not easy being a Porg**

Kylo was having an anxiety attack. He had connected with Rey that night as he had looked sleepily up from the basket he had been given on the opposite end of the living room from Millicent's beautifully appointed basket. The ginger cat had made it plain she was ignoring him and Hux had fussed her excessively to ensure that she was not feeling neglected but it meant he had curled up alone, really really wanting a cuddle.

Until the sound had suddenly muffled and he lifted his head, seeing her sitting cross-legged on some sort of surface, her eyes closed in concentration. He had sighed.

 _I'm not sure this is the right time for this,_ he sighed. Her eyes snapped open, brows furrowing as she inspected the sleepy shape.

"You look cleaner than when I last saw you," she commented. He shrugged.

 _I believe you contacted Hux. Thanks,_ he said honestly. She unfolded and stretched, a shoulder cracking with the strain.

"Well…it was the right thing to do," she commented and then she fixed him with a piercing look. "Did you find out what happened to you?" He shrugged, something his porg shape was especially well designed for.

 _I've been scanned and am awaiting results,_ he admitted. _But it seems the planet I visited had experienced some significant environmental changes. There was a Resistance Base there. I'm not sure if they were impacted either. There were only twelve men there._

"What was the Base?" she asked.

 _Valpanthus 3,_ he revealed. _It seems there is little option but to investigate further. But there is a chance that whatever happened to me may have affected them as well. The data indicates that Porgs are curious and friendly…yet one on that planet attacked me._

"I can't blame it," Rey muttered with a small smirk. "I would have liked to have seen that." Kylo growled and her eyes widened. "Did you just growl?"

 _I am not cute or sweet or amenable or happy to be made fun of,_ he said irritably.

"But you are cute," she pointed out. "You know…I can almost see through your eyes…feel an intense desire…for fish?"

His stomach rumbled embarrassingly.

 _I seem to be a bottomless pit,_ he conceded miserably and then he started. _What? You sense what I sense?_ She nodded.

"I think I could before…when you were angry," she murmured, analysing her previous encounters. "When I touched your mind on Starkiller Base…you were angry. And afraid." She paused. "You're afraid now…"

 _I can feel my mind…contracting,_ he murmured. _My powers and connection with the Force are waning. My humanity is slipping…_ She unfolded and walked forward, then crouched before him, reaching out and stroking him.

"You're soft," she murmured. His eyes widened and for a second, he could see grey rocks and a cloud-strewn blue sky and a lashing grey sea below. And in the distance, he could hear the cries of Porgs…

_New is up there again_

_Destroyed the nice perch New did. Menders cross._

_Grumpy is on the cliffs with Sirencows._

_Grumpy almost kicked Littlebutt_

_Menders have repaired the smallcaves again after New broke_

_Is Dopey missing?_

_New krillfish shoal coming by. Big Teeth follow…_

_Dopeymate and chicks sad…_

He could understand them, though they were parsecs away and somehow it gave him hope that he could communicate with the Porgs on Valpanthus and maybe learn what was happening. All it required was to tune his mind into the world of a Porg and think down to their level…and exercise the empathy that he had really not utilised since before he left the Temple. But somehow the plight of the missing Porg had touched him.

 _I can hear the Porgs where you are,_ he murmured thoughtfully. _They don't seem to like Luke. They call him Grumpy._ Rey chuckled.

"That's…not inaccurate," she admitted and then her brow furrowed. "Anything you want me to tell your friend Hux?" Kylo sighed.

 _He's not really my friend…but no, there isn't anything he doesn't know,_ he conceded. She fluffed the top of his head.

"If you need me to pass on any messages…" she offered and he nodded.

 _Got no one who cares,_ he commented as she faded. _And no one who would care if I vanished. Snoke would replace me-probably with the Scavenger, or another of the Knights. No family. No friends. The closest I have is the Scavenger who cut my face open and the General who is my visceral rival._

He curled up in his basket and stared at the green reflections of Millicent's eyes. The cat's tail was flicking and he guessed that she was planning another attack on the intruder. Sighing, he adjusted his position so he could keep her firmly in his sights.

_I really wish I had my lightsaber…_

oOo

Hux was a morning person. He was up, cleansed, shaved and dressed precisely on time, his uniform pressed and pristine and pomade holding every hair in place. The droid delivered nutritionally optimised food that also corresponded to his preferences and ensured that his sleeping quarters were immaculate before he emerged to start his work on the daily updates and tactical briefings…

…to find Millicent hissing and prowling below two recessed shelves in his living quarters upon which the somewhat clawed shape of Ren was huddled. The General stopped as if he had slammed into a wall and stared at the extremely poofed up and hissy shape of his cat. Ren looked at him in what could be mildly described as relief and jabbed an accusing wing at the feline.

"I'm sure you provoked her in some way!" Hux commented, shaking himself and walking forward to grab Millicent, scratching her neatly under her chin. "There, there my precious. The nasty Porg upset you, didn't he?"

 _I was almost asleep and that damned cat jumped me!_ Kylo thought sourly, waving his wing and concentrating. Millicent just hissed, her fur moving slightly in the Force-generated breeze. _And my connection with the Force is weakening as well…_ Hux carried the cat away-was it possible for a cat to look smug?-and Kylo sagged in relief before jumping down, flapping his stubby wings for all they were worth. He hit the floor, bounced and then scrabbled to his feet before waddling after Hux. The General was already doling out the optimised fish-flavoured food that Millicent apparently preferred-along with a few small fish-and the Porg watched…though Kylo's annoyance was alleviated somewhat when he received exactly the same fare-though with one extra fish. The General rolled his eyes as Kylo tensed and wolfed his food, never taking his eyes off Millicent. The door opened and the silver shape of Phasma entered. She saluted briskly.

"Sir!" she said and then her head turned to inspect Kylo. "What happened? He's injured." Rolling his eyes, Hux groaned.

"He clearly upset my cat and…"

"He's a human in Porg form-sir," the Captain reminded him. "He's probably confused. And unsure how to behave. And I believe cats have a habit of chasing and attacking birds. Did you not make efforts to protect him?"

Kylo managed an 'I told you so' look that appeared extra cute and pathetic. He didn't even mind when Phasma picked him up and cradled him in her arms.

"I may…have erred…" Hux conceded, sharing his head. "Is that some sort of Force compulsion? That anyone who looks at Ren the Porg is immediately overcome with an urge to cuddle him?"

"I am unsure what you mean," Phasma said, cuddling Kylo.

 _If it's a Force power, I don't have control over it,_ Kylo grumbled. _Though it would make meetings with the Supreme Leader more interesting…_ Hux sighed, stroking Millicent.

"Well, now we both have our fluffy animals to cuddle, can we review the details of the mission?" he asked pointedly.

"The Command Shuttle is requisitioned and ready to go, flight plans are filed and my chosen stormtroopers are waiting. We simply await your pleasure." Hux sighed and very carefully sat Millicent on his desk, giving her a last affectionate tousle of the ears before lifting Ren's datapad.

"I supposed I'll have to carry him-since he is supposed to be my beloved pet which I have named after the Supreme Leader's apprentice," he snarked, fetching his coat and then scooping the Porg into his arms. "Please try not to squirm or shed on my clothes, Ren. There's a good Porg…" Resisting the urge to bite him, Kylo closed his eyes and immediately felt the caress of a cool salt-laden breeze and the sounds of porgs squawking over the constant crash of waves on jagged rocks.

 _Scavenger?_ he murmured. There was a shift in the Force. Rey's eyes widened as she saw him lying in…Hux's arms.

"I can see you're busy," she murmured. "I wish I could control this…"

_Me too._

"There were thirty," she blurted out.

 _What?_ His eyes widened.

"There were thirty Resistance fighters assigned to Valpanthus 3," she told him. "I got a friend to check. There were thirty."

 _And only a dozen left when I reached there,_ Kylo murmured.

"You killed them all?" Rey asked, her voice hardening.

 _I'm certain you feel little for the Stormtroopers you shoot down-even though your friend, the traitor, was formerly one,_ Kylo snarked back. _And I am sure you are aware they aren't clones but children taken from their families and reprogrammed. They fight on the side they are on. They are as much sentients as you or I-with as much right to live, no matter which side they espouse. How many cleaners, cooks, repair techs, maintenance engineers died on Starkiller?_

"I didn't kill those!" Rey spat.

 _And I only killed the dozen men who were in the outpost,_ Kylo shot back. _The others…had already gone. I would steer clear of any porgs until we know if this is a problem common to all porgs or just the ones on Valpanthus 3._ Rey glared at him, folded her arms and vanished. The Porg sighed. _Well, at least I've worked out how to end the connection._ Then he looked up. They had emerged from an elevator and were in the Hanger, walking towards the Command Shuttle. Everyone stopped and snapped to attention as the ginger-haired General marched past, not sparing a glance. There were two stormtroopers standing at ease by the ramp, looking less than enthusiastic. Both seemed to stiffen as the General swept past with the Porg in his arms and then followed Phasma up the ramp. Hux took up station in a seat in the cockpit as the ramp pulled up and the engines fired up.

"Take us down," he murmured.


	8. Getting To Know The Neighbours

**Eight: Getting to know the neighbours**

It was grey and drizzling as the Command Shuttle swooped in and landed half a klick from the ruins of the Resistance Base. The pilot shut down the engines and everyone waited for Hux. For a moment, he stared at the black and white porg sitting in the seat next to his and met the sad eyes.

"Well, this part is down to you, Ren," the General grumbled and facepalmed. "I cannot believe I just said that," he muttered as he lifted the little porg and carried it to the entrance. The stormtroopers noticeably cringed and Kylo tilted his head, inspecting the shapes. Then it hit him.

 _Those are the men who…met me outside my quarters,_ he realised. _The ones who tried to kill me and singed my…fluffbutt._ He blinked. _I cannot believe I called any part of my anatomy that!_ He stiffened and dealt them a hard look. _Okay, I am doing this and then I am coming back and killing them._

The ramp lowered and Hux gently placed him on the metal surface.

"We will monitor you via the external cameras," he murmured. "Try not to be too long. I will expect intelligence when you return-and that shouldn't just be the gossip around the porg colony-or whatever they're called."

 _How would I know?_ Kylo grumbled. _I was never into ornithology even before I became part of it._ But he waddled down the ramp and hit the muddy ground, his senses all straining. And then he accelerated forward, not to the ruins but towards the rocks and the sounds of porgs…

…except they were voices, speaking in an unusual syntax that was familiar from the encounter with the Scavenger.

_Hello newcomer._

He realised that the person speaking to him was a small brown porg, fluttering its big eyes at him.

 _Greetings,_ he replied neutrally.

 _From far-nest?_ The tone was curious. He frowned and then realised she was asking him if he came from some way away. He nodded, his mind sliding back to the Finalizer and realising there was no way he could explain it to these creatures.

 _My nest is very far away,_ he explained. She shuffled closer.

 _Hungry?_ she asked and he nodded, his stomach rumbling again. _Good fishing here. I show._

 _I am very certain that Hux won't be interested in that intelligence,_ he thought but shuffled after her as she bounced to the cliff edge and plunged into the water. Plunging after her, he found the female accelerating away and pride forced him to follow and catch her, before she looked over at him and dived into a huge shoal of silvery fish. Rolling and spinning, he gulped down mouthfuls of the treats until he realised that she was heading up and he broke the surface, gasping air and then ducking down again. This time, the female was sticking to his side as he fished and then she split away, heading back for the shore. There was a dark shadow in the waters, his Force senses alerting him to the danger. Focus honing to a laser point, he stilled, sensing a shark-like creature curving round and coming straight at him. He could sense fury and hunger and a complete lack of empathy as it came at him.

 _Force, be with me now,_ he thought and grabbed all his anger and fear at what was happening to him to bolster his connection.

Nothing happened.

He had a fraction of a second to react, twisting his body away and bouncing off the shark's head and sculling along the length of its body as it missed him. But it came round again as Kylo frantically sped towards the shore, somehow finding the Force and using it to impel him faster through the cold water. Wings flapping furiously through the saline, he could sense it closing, mouth open and teeth ready to rend him apart…

He flapped once more and blasted through the surface of the waves, soaring through the spray and clearing the cliff to land on the muddy ground, bouncing three times before finally coming to a halt. Blinking, he picked himself up, astonished that he had soared so far-and that he had found the Force, but only in extremis.

He was running out of time.

But as he turned to the cliffs, he saw a forest of heads poke up. All were brown with white faces and fronts. And all seemed to be wholly focussed on him.

_That was amazing!_

Pretty much every porg there echoed the same words, the squawking echoing over the cliffs.

_New porg very fit._

Several of the smaller brown porgs were advancing, eyeing him like the last sardine on the buffet.

_New porg very handsome._

Kylo stared at the smaller porgs, the words of the entry on porgs running round his head.

**_Porgs are sexually dimorphic with smaller females and larger males. Males may master a harem of sexually receptive and sometimes desperate females…_ **

_New porg very handsome…_

Desperate. Definitely desperate. He wasn't considered handsome. 'Monster' was the most charitable he had got and that was from the Scavenger.

_New porg handsome and fit. Mine!_

_You gotta be kidding me!_ he thought, watching another ten female porgs advance. If he didn't know better, he would think they were fluttering their eyes at him and waving their wings in an attempt to attract his attention. He backed up a step. Of course, he was aware of the 'mechanics' but his training and focus on Snoke's wishes had left precisely no time for any practical experience, even had the Supreme Leader not expressly forbidden any such liaisons. He certainly didn't want his first experience to be as a fat, slightly smelly and ridiculously cute bird…

_Mine!_

_Mine!_

_Mine!_

He stared. There were about fifteen females now all advancing on him…and suddenly they were charging him. Instinct took over and he turned and ran.

_FOLLOW HANDSOME MALE!_

_Force, this is NOT how I anticipated this going,_ he thought as he accelerated over the muddy ground, past the Command Shuttle and away from the cliffs, the growing stampede of porgs racing after him. There were squawks and trills and definitely a few 'ows' as the desperate females pinballed off one another in their pursuit of Kylo but what he could tell was that they were closing. _Fast_. After all, they had been porgs longer than he had been and had the waddling thing sorted out far better than he seemed to have. Zig-zagging around the uneven boulders, his eyes lighted onto the ruins of the base he had destroyed a couple of days earlier. Bouncing over a chunk of rubble, he suddenly found himself facing a large brown porg with lighter orange circles of feathers around its big eyes. The creature was snarling and he stilled, trying not to crash into the other porg.

 _MY TERRITORY!_ the other porg growled.

 _Technically, I conquered this Base so it's mine!_ Kylo growled, as a tsunami of female porgs landed on him.

_Mine!_

_Mine!_

_Mine!_

Struggling under a pile of soft fluffy porgs, all of whom seemed to be trying to cuddle with him, Kylo felt as if he had truly landed in a parallel galaxy. He was probably going to get crushed…though the female porgs were rather lighter than they looked…but he had just outswam a shark and was not going down without fighting. There was no way he, Master of the Knights of Ren and apprentice to the Supreme Leader, was going to be smothered by a mountain of amorous female porgs! Flapping his wings urgently, he managed to squirm his way to get a mouthful of air and his eyes lighted on the solid shape blocking his way. The snarling male facing him was completely at odds with the entries on porgs in the database.

**_Male porgs, recognisable by the orange ring of feathers around the eyes, are not territorial and happily maintain nests directly adjacent to a rival. Mating displays for dominance include feather puffing and singing contests. Since porgs inhabit densely-populated colonies in precarious environments, they are not aggressive._ **

Desperately scrambling out from under a huge pile of extremely randy female porgs, Kylo found himself face to face with the snarling male once more. He could understand the confusion and difficulty with transferring from one species to another and a suspicion gripped him as he faced the aggressive porg.

 _You come far nest?_ he asked, inspecting the creature.

 _MY TERRITORY!_ the male porg snarled, backing up. Kylo glanced at the Base and then at the scrambling fluffy pile of female porgs, who were scuffling amid themselves to get at him. They nested on cliffs, not caves…and porgs preferred the open air. But a porg may prefer the ruined Base if it had been his home previously… There was only one way to test it.

 _No, MINE!_ he squawked and launched himself at the other porg.

-o0o-

"What's he doing?" Phasma murmured as she watched the black and white porg race past, pursued by a crowd of smaller brown and white porgs. Hux tried not to smirk.

"I believe he is being pursued by a crowd of female porgs," he said, watching Ren the porg vanish under a pile of scrabbling wannabe mates. Phasma stared at him.

"You mean…that Ren is irresistible to the female of the porg species?" she checked. Hux nodded, unable to speak.

"Yes," he managed, his voice an octave higher than usual. A very dishevelled black and white porg slowly emerged from under the pile of writhing females.

"You're recording this vid aren't you?" the Captain guessed.

"Yes," Hux managed in a strangled voice. "For future reference. And viewing. Excuse me, I must use the Fresher…" He swiftly rose and vanished into the cubicle, but even with the door closed, the Captain could hear the howls of laughter. The stormtroopers shared a look as the General emerged, his face straight once more. Phasma cast him a look that was smothered by her mask and then turned back to the screen. There appeared to be a fight going on.

"Of course, Ren would manage to get into a fight with the natives," Hux commented as the comm buzzed. "Hux," the General snapped.

"This is Grantz," a female voice acknowledged. "You asked me to report as soon as I had my report on your pet."

"Go ahead," Hux said, sitting down.

"Your porg carries a very dangerous pathogen," she reported without preamble. Hux started.

"WHAT?" he demanded, eyes narrowing. Everyone fell silent and stared at the General.

"Ostensibly, your pet appears to be a healthy male porg-for all his plumage colour is unusual and does not express the dimorphic orange eye rings normally seen in a male of the species," the scientist explained in her crisp, emotionless voice.

"You mean he looks like a _female_ porg?" Hux checked. There were sniggers from the stormtroopers.

"Yes." Grantz sounded irritated and then resumed a lecturing tone. "However, biochemical, genetic and pathogenic analysis indicate he is anything but normal."

"You can say that again," Hux muttered under his breath.

"His biology is intermediate between porg documented norms and mammalian," Grantz continued. "His testosterone level is approximate for a human male."

"I'm sure Ren will be delighted to hear that," Hux murmured.

"But his bloodstream is infested with a virulent pathogen that has no corresponding entry in any known database. It appears to be a hyper-virulent retrovirus that once introduced into the bloodstream, causes a cascade reaction that changes every cell in the body and reconfigures the subject to…a porg."

"This pathogen causes a person to change into a porg?" Hux asked in shocked, staring at his hands. "How does it transfer?"

"It needs injection into the bloodstream," Grantz reported. "A bite would do it, provided it breaks the skin."

"Holding him wouldn't…" Hux checked.

"No-but I recommend that the beast is placed in quarantine and then euthanised and vaporised," Grantz told him.

"Is there a cure?" Hux demanded.

"Theoretically it would be possible to synthesise a therapeutic retrovirus that could reverse the process before it is complete," the scientist reported. "But there is a time frame. After approximate seventy two standard hours, the change becomes permanent and irreversible as there isn't enough native genetic code remaining to use as a template for reconstitution. And the cure would be more effective at an earlier stage where there are fewer cells transformed."

"Synthesise the cure immediately," Hux said coldly. "Commandeer whatever resources you require. I require an update in an hour."

"Acknowledged, sir," the scientist said and broke the connection. Hux glanced at the screen and the shape of Ren, which was rolling in the mud, growling and biting the other porg. Phasma leaned close.

"How long was it since he changed?" she murmured.

"It's forty-eight hours since he was attacked," the General said. "The window is closing. So we have to get him back to the shuttle under control and find a way to administer the care…without being bitten ourselves…" Phasma snorted.

"I believe he has a penchant for biting people," she commented.

"Then your job, Captain, is to find out who he has bitten and have them all quarantined before we have an epidemic of porgs on our hands!"


	9. Porgs Galore

**Nine: Porgs Galore.**

The only advantage to the fact he was in a very nasty fight with a feral male porg very much like the one that had savaged him and caused all this trouble in the first place was the fact he was already a porg and couldn't be turned into one again. Not that the thought gave Kylo much comfort as he found the other male sinking his teeth very hard into his…fluffbutt. Giving a yowl that sounded like he was being strangled while yodelling, he managed to kick the other porg clear, rolling away and feeling his butt ache from the savaging.

 _MINE!_ The feral porg was furious, drool dripping from its mouth and feathers sticking from his mouth and teeth. Ren backed up a pace.

 _Look, there's no point in fighting like an animal,_ he reasoned, clinging to his powers of intellect carefully. The changes in his power levels with the Force had shaken him-not that he would admit to anyone, though the Scavenger Rey could sense his emotions and would probably know. There was a sneaking worry, facing the feral beast in front of him, that his future lay with the diminution of his ability to reason and think leaving him finally as just a simple lower non-sentient creature. He would fight to his dying breath before he surrendered to that! But he could hear the scrabbling of the lust-crazed females behind him. He shifted slightly to see the females regroup and begin their charge again. So he accelerated forward, bouncing over the feral male and hitting the ground behind him with a thud that knocked the wind from him. However, he was rewarded with the sight of the feral male being stampeded by the females, who were scrabbling and clawing to get over him-and at Kylo.

 _And…I still appear to be a porg magnet,_ he thought as he bounced through the hole he had blasted in the door of the Base and then stopped. The corpses of the men he had slain lay where they had fallen, unburied and left to putrefy. All were looking less than healthy and were starting to smell, the stench of decay mild but unmistakeable. He recognised it from battlefields and trials, from Snoke himself whose Force signature always carried the slightest whiff of carrion but to smell it with his porg senses was a new experience and not one he was keen to repeat. Porgs, it seemed, had a much sharper sense of smell than a human. But he knew what he was looking for and bounced and scrabbled up onto the comm station, seeing it left powered up by his less than careful stormtroopers. Grateful for once, he stabbed the controls using the Force and accessed the mission logs.

 _MY TERRITORY!_ The aggressive male Porg was back, hissing and spitting at Kylo who was perched on the console.

"I see your people skills are as good as ever." The Scavenger, Rey, was sitting cross-legged a metre above the floor halfway across the room, her hazel eyes taking in the scene. "Is that another porg, trying to kill you?" Kylo's eyes widened.

 _You can see my surroundings?_ he asked, pausing in his perusal of the mission logs. She frowned, for she had only had any sense of his surroundings when they were in physical contact. She nodded.

"Can you see mine?" she checked. He inclined his head.

 _Just…hints…_ he murmured. _Metal?_ She nodded.

"Correct," she complimented him as the feral porg lunged to try to bite him. "Boy, he has really warmed to your winning personality." He scanned the logs, finding he had to concentrate much harder to register the words. It really made him angry, that life was conspiring against him once more. First his birthright, then his parents, then his Uncle, now this… She unfolded and stepped onto the ground, walking to his side without missing a beat. "Easy," she soothed him, reaching out and gently making contact with his wing.

The anger receded and suddenly the words were much easier to decipher. He took a deep breath and scanned down the screen.

 _Fighters started vanishing a week after they arrived, after they had befriended the local Porgs,_ Kylo read. _They found a few Porgs in the Base but returned them to the colony. Two weeks after the first disappearances, the aggressive porgs started attacking anyone who emerged from the base. Disappearances continued, always those who had been bitten. Over half the complement had vanished before the First Order attacked._ He looked up. _That aggressive porg was probably once one of your people._

Rey scanned the words on the screen before she nodded.

"As strange as it sounds, I think you're right…" she said and then she looked around. The room was suddenly filled with over a score of smaller brown porgs, all squawking and flapping their wings urgently. Every one was focussed on Kylo, every eye locked on his unusual shape. "Um…is this supposed to be happening?" she added.

_Mine!_

_Mine!_

_Mine!_

_I appear to be a female porg magnet,_ Kylo conceded as Rey sniggered. The female porgs started fighting among themselves, as well as bouncing on the aggressive male, burying him in a pile of fluffy cute porgs as they bounced and tried to get to Kylo. _And these females are exceptionally determined._

"We all are," Rey commented. "Hang in there. If you can get to somewhere safe, I would." He sighed.

 _Not sure anywhere is safe,_ he replied as she backed off. _I have no idea how long I have…before I end up as that._ She quirked a smile.

"I have every confidence that you will hang on as long as you possibly can," she said. "I mean, you didn't give up when you were fighting me, despite being badly injured. In fact, I could have sworn you were hitting the wound to help you focus and get angrier. I would be extremely disappointed-not to mention aggrieved-if you just lay down and turned into a cute fluffy little porg!" His head snapped up.

 _I AM NOT CUTE!_ he growled as she smirked.

"Better," she commented and faded once more. Below him, the scrabbling mass of swarming female porgs was still squabbling among themselves as he backed up then bounced over them, squeaking with every impact. He almost made it to the door before he hit the ground and then he was off, waddling at top speed back towards the Command Shuttle.

 _Open the door, Hux,_ he murmured as he heard the pursuit resume.

-o0o-

"There are plenty of candidates," Phasma commented, reviewing her pad. "According to reports, he bit seven of the ten men you sent in to rescue him the garbage compactor.."

"Which they had put him in," Hux amended, idly reviewing status reports.

"Including Captain Peavey and Lieutenant Mitaka," Phasma said sternly. Hux's lips twitched and Phasma wished she played poker with the General: she suspected after this experience, she would be well ahead of the game.

"Oh dear," he commented blandly.

"There are also a couple of stormtroopers who complained of an encounter outside Kylo Ren's quarters, one of whom was bitten…" the Captain added. The two stormtroopers shuffled their feet.

"I was bitten," the slightly shorter one commented.

"Oh dear," Hux commented sarcastically. "Phasma-I suggest you sequester all those who have been bitten in secure medical facilities before anything happens. Full quarantine protocols…"

"Yes, sir," she acknowledged and then paused. "Sir…given the knowledge we now have…would it be wise to return the Porg to the Finalizer?" Hux frowned.

"I don't see where else we can leave him…" he commented.

"In his natural environment," the Captain pointed out. "If he is returned to the ship, he should be put in isolation since he is clearly dangerous to those around him..."

"Oh, he's always been that," Hux commented dryly. "But no. Leaving him here is not an option. I cannot afford for any permanent harm to befall him-and he's clearly not to be trusted alone on this planet. I am prepared to take any objections to my orders to the Supreme Leader…or I may just have shot anyone who disagrees with me. I am a full General l and answer directly and _only_ to Supreme Leader Snoke. Is that clear?" Phasma stiffened and offered a curt nod.

"As you wish, sir," she said stiffly. Then she gestured to the screen. "You may wish to retrieve your _pet_ then." The word was sarcastic. Hux glanced at the screen and swallowed the expletive he wanted to spit at the image of a muddy Ren the Porg scuttling very fast directly towards the shuttle with an army of very horny looking females on his tail.

"Not a word of this goes in anyone's report!" he growled and hit the ramp button. The metal lowered with agonising slowness as the General turned to the pilot. "Emergency prep for launch! NOW!" he yelled as the black and white shape of Ren flew through the air and landed on the end of the ramp. Little legs wheeling, he flapped his wings and managed to shoot up the ramp and headed straight for Hux. But before the General could say anything, a dozen brown and white females were stampeding up the ramp, followed by the drooling and growling rabid male. Eyes wide with shock, the General hit the emergency close button for the ramp, grabbed Kylo by the legs and yelled 'HIDE!" before running into the cockpit and slamming the locking mechanism. Phasma dived in after him as the door slammed shut. There were screams and the sounds of men scrabbling to clamber into the equipment lockers.

"Idiots," Phasma muttered. "They should have shot or stunned the creatures."

 _Put me down!_ Kylo squawked, still hanging upside down from Hux's grasp. The General slumped into the copilot's seat as they lifted off.

"They never covered this in the Academy," he grumbled.

-o0o-

It had taken ten minutes to coax the stormtroopers out of the equipment lockers once the invading porgs had been stunned and taken away for tests that Scientist Grantz had eagerly plotted. Phasma was busy trying to round up the men that Kylo had bitten and explain that they were now quarantined and could have contracted a 'contagious disease'. Captain Peavey had been furious and threatened to contact Line Admiral Yoedl-an old school relic from the Empire who Hux despised: Phasma had invoked quarantine regulations and had escorted the still-protesting Captain to his isolation cell. Hux calmed himself by imagining the man's uniform being incinerated and the man having to undergo the very intrusive and unpleasant seven stage decontamination process.

After issuing orders to Phasma, putting the entire ship on a communications blackout and ordering extra sardines for both his 'pets', Hux carried the ruffled and definitely exhausted Kylo back towards his quarters. Carrying the porg was definitely soothing and the General found himself unconsciously stroking the fluffy shape in his arms-until he pulled himself together. Unable to look the porg in the eye, Hux had mumbled an apology and unlocked his quarters, then let himself in. Carefully, he placed Kylo on the desk.

"I expect a report on what you got up to," he said tartly, placing Kylo's datapad next to him. "I need to check that sojourn to the planet was worth the effort." The porg gave him an amazingly wounded look, worsened by his sad face. "Don't give me that look! At least we have specimens for Grantz so she can ascertain if the cause of your…condition is endemic in all the porgs on the planet. And if it can be reversed." Then he sighed and glanced towards the living room. "I'll feed you once I check Millicent is well. She was very disturbed and out of sorts after your altercation last night…"

 _You mean where she ambushed and tried to kill me,_ Kylo pointed out sourly. Hux tutted, as if he understood Kylo's squawks before he removed his coat and walked through into the adjacent living area.

"Millicent darling? I'm back? How is my Princess?" he called and cast around. And then he paused and gave a small scream. For sitting in the beautifully appointed basket where his cat slept was a small ginger Porg.


	10. Hux's Porg Nightmare

**Ten: Hux's Porg Nightmare**

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

Kylo looked up from where he was having to concentrate really hard to frame some sort of report and remember how to type it in using the Force. And then he started, for Hux was holding a small ginger porg at arm's length as he advanced towards Kylo with a look of fury on his face. Taken aback, Kylo shuffled a step backwards and fell off the desk, landing with a squeak and bouncing. Surprised, he looked into the new porg's eyes.

 _Are you…?_ he asked, scrabbling to his feet.

 _Meow,_ said the new porg.

 _MILLICENT?_ Kylo knew his screech was incredulous. The ginger porg nodded.

 _Intruder,_ she said. And then she purred, obviously looking him up and down.

"What have you done to her?" Hux yelled, eyes popping with rage. "My beautiful darling precious little…you bit her, didn't you?"

 _It was self defence!_ he protested, looking up at the General. _She attacked me!_ And then he stared. _I only bit her last night. This has happened since we went down to the planet! That was quick…_

 _Handsome intruder,_ Millicent the porg purred. Kylo backed up a step.

 _Oh, come on..._ he groaned. Millicent squirmed in Hux's hands.

_Handsome intruder. Handsome mate…_

"Millicent…please don't tell me she's feeling…amorous towards you?" Hux exclaimed, his face disgusted as Millicent struggled more determinedly. "I don't even want to consider that!" The door opened and Phasma entered, slapping a salutatory fist over her heart and then standing to attention.

"Sir! All those identified as being bitten by Ren have been isolated in level Four Quarantine facilities and…is that another porg?" Hux glanced up in frustration.

"No, it's my cat!" he spat.

"With respect, sir, that looks like a porg to…oh…" Phasma commented, her voice wavering. "So Millicent got porged as well…"

"This is getting completely out of hand!" Hux raged, walking back and forth with the scrabbling Millicent in his hands. "I knew Ren would cause all sorts of chaos and…"

"Sir! Perhaps Scientist Grantz will be able to intervene," Phasma reminded him. "As Millicent has presumably just changed, it may be easier to reverse…" Hux took a shuddering breath and then nodded.

"Good thinking," he said in a calmer voice. "Would you bring Ren please? I need to ensure Millicent is safe…" Phasma raised an eyebrow under her mask, seeing the porg struggling to get away from a very tight cuddle.

"As you wish, sir," she said ironically, crouching down before the black and white porg. "Do you mind…?" Kylo gave a resigned trill as she scooped him up, sneaked a quick cuddle and then straightened up. "After you, sir," she added. Hux snorted, adjusting his grip on Millicent.

"This is not helping with discipline!" he grumbled as he headed out once more.

-o0o-

"This was a cat?" The voice of Grantz was frankly incredulous but Hux was nailing her with his most piercing glare as she prodded the squirming ginger porg.

"I found her in the basket usually occupied by my ginger cat, Millicent, which was in an altercation with…Ren…last night," Hux explained through gritted teeth. "When I left for the planet, she was a cat. On my return, I found her like…this…" The scientist frowned, poking the porg again.

"She seems a healthy…if rather amorous…female…" she said thoughtfully. "She definitely wants to be with your other porg…"

"NO!" Hux barked and then took a deep breath. "No. Absolutely not. I am not even contemplating thinking of considering the distant possibility of my beautiful Millicent with…Ren…" Grantz turned to her screen and frowned.

"There may be some merit in what you say,' she murmured. "The genetic scans indicate that approximately forty percent of her cells are still feline…"

"Check the genetic ident against Millicent's most recent physical," Hux ordered her. Rolling her eyes, the women made the correlation and then her eyes widened. She stared at the ginger porg-which was inching towards Kylo.

"It's a match," she conceded.

"Turn her back," Hux demanded through gritted teeth. Grantz gave an exasperated sigh.

"I am synthesising the retrovirus but it is calibrated to restore to human," she reminded him.

"Then make a feline one!" Hux snapped. "It has the highest priority!" Phasma choked and Hux cast her a vicious look.

"May I remind you that Captain Peavey, Lieutenant Mitaka and nine other individuals are possibly afflicted by porg bites," she said evenly as Hux absently stroked Millicent, who was straining to get at Kylo. The General thinned his lips.

"Millicent takes priority," he said as Kylo glanced up at him, then lunged forward, locking his teeth around Hux's wrist and biting as hard as he could. Hux screamed, wrenching his arm away with the black and white porg still attached. He shook his arm wildly, trying to prise the porg free. "OW! You son of a…REN! LET GO!"

Finally, Kylo was cast free, flying through the air and bouncing off the wall with another squeak, landing in a little heap on the floor. Phasma glanced over, seeing him move feebly, before she turned her inspection back to Hux, who was cursing and gripping his bloody wrist. A complete ring of porg toothmarks was visible and there was quite a lot of blood visible as he paced back and forth.

"Wash it! Disinifect it! Get the virus out…"

"Too late," Grantz told him bluntly. "It's already in. The infective dose is extremely low-though a higher dose seems to shorten the interval between infection and transformation…" She looked at him. "Do you still want me to divert my efforts from the human reversal agent to the feline one?"

"Of course not!" Hux snapped. "And keep that thing here! It's dangerous!" He gestured at Kylo and Grantz nodded, fishing out what looked like a large pair of tongs. But Phasma jumped forward.

"Where do you want him?" she asked quickly, scooping the stunned little porg up. Grantz nodded to a cage which she had just put Millicent in.

"They seem affectionate," she commented. "And I'm running out of cages…" Nodding, the Captain gently placed Kylo in the cage.

"I'm sorry, sir," she murmured as she closed the door. "But thank you. That was good work." Then she stood up and marched to the door. "I'll take you to medical, sir. That needs some Bacta on it." Hux nodded curtly, stomping out without a backwards glance, leaving Kylo watching the door close behind them. the scientist loomed over him.

"I think I need a closer look at you," she said.

-o0o-

Hux was furious as he stormed down to Medical, his hand still gripping his wound. Phasma marched behind silently, activating the elevator and leaving him as he stalked in. The senior duty medic was an old acquaintance and he calmly took the General into a cubicle.

"I see Millicent got you good, General Hux," he commented. Hux snorted.

"This wasn't Millicent-it was a porg," he snapped. The medic raised an eyebrow.

"Oh I am sorry, Millicent was a good cat. Porg, eh…? You never can tell…"

"No, I still have Millicent. I procured a Porg to keep her company."

"No wonder she's out of sorts," the medic murmured, cleaning the wound deftly. Hux hissed in pain.

"OW! And this was not made by Millicent!" he snapped. "It was that damned rabid porg…"

"Ah," the medic said. "I'll have to give you some routine shots then…"

"WHAT?"

The medic looked up, his eyes glinting.

"Well, apart from the usual anti-bacterial, antiviral, antiprotozoal and anti fungal shots, there are some diseases specific to this species…" he began.

"I know that!" Hux spat. "And I have Senior Exoscientist Grantz working on an antiretroviral to counter the effects of…"

"No-I meant Wing Rot, Tail Mange and Five different tapeworms…" the medic explained seriously.

"TAPEWORMS? You mean Ren could have given me _worms_?" Hux raged.

"Not after the shots," the medic said cheerfully. "Obviously they'll sting a little but…"

"Just get on with it!" Hux snapped. "I have a ship to run…"

"Well, if you just get your pants down, we can get on with the shots…"

"WHAT?" Hux stared at the medic, now holding a giant syringe and wearing a broad grin. In his mind, he was already plotting bloody revenge…as soon as he was sure he was not going to turn into a porg or have any other bits of himself fall off or be otherwise compromised. And then the jarring beep of Hux's comm broke the tense situation and the General rapidly answered.

"Hux?"

"General-you have an urgent call," the junior lieutenant reported down the line.

"We're on communication blackout!" Hux snapped.

"This was priority override, sir," the lieutenant continued.

"I'm busy!" Hux was a pause and a sigh.

"Sir! It's the Supreme Commander!"

-o0o-

Kylo was getting extremely fed up of being kicked, poked and prodded but what was worst was when he became aware of his surroundings and found there was a warm, soft and fluffy body cuddled against him. He stiffened and the other porg snuggled against him. She gave a small chirrup and purred. He shuddered and managed to inch further away. Grantz gave a small snort and returned to inspect him.

"You are patient zero, aren't you?" she murmured. "Healthy adult male Porg that just appears after Kylo Ren is bitten. First appearance outside Ren's quarters. And then Hux adopts you against all likelihood. No one has seen Kylo Ren since you appeared, have they?" She frowned and turned back to her screen. "You know, you only have about twelve percent of your cells still possessing human genetic code. And the match for that genetic ident is…" She focussed on the porg. "We both know the answer, don't we-sir?"

 _We do,_ Kylo murmured.

"I'll assume that's an affirmative," she said at the squawk. "I estimate below ten percent of native genetic material, it mayn't be possible to reverse the process."

Kylo scrabbled to his feet, trying to push the purring Millicent back. He looked into her face and groaned.

"You bit Hux deliberately to ensure he didn't divert research from restoring humans," she said evenly. "That's good thinking, sir. And brave, considering your current predicament. It demonstrates planning and reasoning that confirms that your intellect-for now-is intact. But I presume, from assessment of the others, that is a temporary state of affairs."

Kylo nodded.

"I am preparing a generic batch for the other bite victims but I will prepare a specific shot for you, based on your specific genetics, in the hope it may overcome the more advanced state of your…condition…" Millicent edged towards him and crooned suggestively. "That porg really seems to like you…"

A forest of coos and squawks erupted from the other cages as every other female porg pressed against the front of their enclosure and stared at him. Grantz chuckled.

"They all seem to like you," she added. Kylo shrugged as Millicent jumped him. He gestured with his wing and nothing happened. Nothing. Giving a despairing yodel, he tried to reverse as the cat-porg landed on top of him. The cage overbalanced, smashing to the floor and breaking open. The scientist leapt back, seeing Kylo accelerate away, legs scrabbling across the metal floor with the ginger porg bounding after him, launching through the air and landing face-first on a console. There was a click and every cage cracked open, with a tsunami of porgs exploding out and chasing after the black and white porg. The scientist hit the quarantine button and retreated into her isolation cell, continuing to work as she dialled up knock-out gas.

Then there was the sound of the door opening.

"LEAVE THE DOOR!" she barked over the comm as the door cracked open and a pair of stormtroopers entered, followed by the furious shape of Captain Peavey. Without waiting to find out how the Captain was out of isolation, Kylo zoomed through their legs as the stampede of horny females-led by Millicent-bowled them over and erupted into the corridor. Diving through the nearest hatch, Kylo leapt into the duct system and raced away, with porgs bowling along in pursuit.

"That's it!" Peavey's voice echoed along the corridor. "All porgs are to be shot on sight. I want every porg on my ship exterminated!"


	11. Porg Hunt

**Eleven: Porg Hunt**

"We have a major problem!" Hux was sitting at his desk and clenching and unclenching his fists. His wrist was wrapped in a Bacta patch and bandage and he looked red in the face. Phasma saluted.

"More than one, sir," she replied. He looked up.

"The Supreme Commander has informed me of the location of the main Resistance Base and we are ordered there to lead the extermination," he said.

"Peavey is out, the porgs have escaped and the stormtroopers are ordered to exterminate all porgs on the ship…" she replied. Hux stared.

"How?"

"It seems some of the crew prefer their own Captain to your orders, sir," she reported sharply.

"Treason!" Hux spat. "And all the porgs?" She nodded. "And how many porgs have escaped approximately?"

"Approximately all," Phasma reported.

"Including Millicent?"

"Millicent and Ren," Phasma reminded him. "I presume you did not inform the Supreme Leader of the fate of his apprentice?" Hux paled.

"He wished to speak with Ren," he revealed. "I was forced to explain that Ren was ill with a virus picked up on the mission he had sent him on…he was somewhat displeased." Phasma's hands tightened on her rifle.

"So I am to assume that our priorities are to retrieve Millicent and Ren before Peavey's orders have them shot?" she asked. Reluctantly, Hux nodded.

"You assume correctly," he said in a defeated voice. "It means-we have to go porg hunting." Phasma groaned. "Why are you…?"

"They're in the ventilation shafts, General," she said. "How do you feel about crawling around ducts?"

-o0o-

There was a murmur of surprise that instantly subsided as Captain Peavey resumed his position on the bridge. A well-respected and liked officer, the crew had been surprised that he had been relieved of command by Hux, though the invocation of Level Four Quarantine and the comms blackout had given an indication why. So when the Captain had requested a status report, the crew had responded like the professionals they were. Mitaka had walked onto the bridge to stand by Peavey, who was looking grey in the face.

"Sir?" he asked. Peavey gave the slightest of nods.

"Just a little warm," he replied to the unspoken question. He shuffled his feet and then loosened his collar slightly. "I am fine, Lieutenant. I…"

Then he paused and gave a choking sound. Before Mitaka's astonished eyes, his entire form shrunk and vanished into his clothing. There was a gasp and Mitaka frowned, then walked forward, seeing something squirming. And then, from under the tunic, a small and irritated-looking porg looked out. The duty stormtrooper lifted his weapon but Mitaka jumped in the way.

"NO!" he yelled. "The Captain's order to exterminate all porgs on sight is cancelled!"

"But that…"

"THAT'S THE CAPTAIN!" Mitaka yelled and scooped up the little porg. "It's okay, sir. We'll get you to Medical and I'm sure they can get this sorted out in a few hours…" And then he blinked and glanced over to the bridge officer. The whole room felt too hot, his skin was itching all the way down to the bones and the world seemed to be spinning faster and faster. "Um…can you possibly broadcast the cancellation of the porg-killing order now please-and then take the Captain and I down to Senior Exoscientist Grantz with all speed…"

Then he vanished as well and no one was surprised to see a bemused looking porg sitting on his uniform tunic next to the other porg. The bridge ensign sighed.

"Okay-you heard the Lieutenant. I'll broadcast the cancellation of the order. Can somebody pick them up please? And no one is to enter this in the report. Frankly, if word of this gets back to the Supreme Commander, we'll all end up patrolling the Unknown Regions for the next twenty years…"

-o0o-

"You never served on the front lines, did you-sir?" Phasma asked as they crouch-crawled through the low duct. Hux scrabbled along for a few metres and grunted.

"No," he said shortly. "I was always destined for command. I have achieved command. And eventually…I will not have to answer to anyone."

"But for now…the Supreme Leader…" Phasma murmured, ducking down and hearing Hux hit his head. "There are life forms about seven hundred metres ahead."

"How did he get that far?" Hux growled, rubbing his head.

"I suspect he was trying to run away from the females," Phasma reminded him. "Grantz showed us the footage."

"And Peavey…" Hux's voice contained vicious pleasure at the Captain's state.

"His intervention did facilitate the escape," the Captain commented. "I suspect he will look rather cute as a porg."

"Everyone looks cute as a porg," Hux commented sourly. "Even Ren."

"Especially Ren," Phasma murmured. Hux paused.

"You have a plan how we can recapture Ren?" he checked. Phasma nodded.

"We stun them all and bring back Millicent and Ren," she told him. "Grantz can send techs to retrieve the others and we either exterminate them or return them to the planet."

"And then we never speak of this again," Hux said, stretching his back. Phasma nodded.

"Movement up ahead," she murmured and blinked as a small brown porg poked its head out from behind a conduit, gave a weird yodelling cry and sped away. Phasma rolled her eyes. "And it seems our secret is out…"

-o0o-

"This looks…cosy…" Rey's voice seemed loud in the tunnel as Kylo opened his eyes. Momentarily disorientated, he blinked slowly and looked around, to see Millicent cuddled against him and the rest of his harem of females pulling wires from the various panels.

 _You have no idea,_ he conceded, trying to inch away from the purring ginger porg. _Believe it or not, this used to be a cat…_ The girl's eyes sparkled and she slapped her hand over her mouth as she giggled.

"Sorry," she apologised, looking guilty. And then she frowned, gesturing to the industrious brown shapes. "Why are they ripping the walls apart?"

 _I believe they are nesting,_ Kylo replied sarcastically. _Yes, I seem to be setting up my own porg colony. With my adoring female fans._

"Chewie mentioned our porgs seem to like blue wires," Rey murmured and Kylo started. The casual mention of the name had blindsided him, for no matter how betrayed he had felt by his parents, there was never that sensation with the Wookiee. A pang of yearning hit him for a second before he pushed it aside.

 _They're looking for a sort of blue moss to make their nests which astonishingly doesn't seem to be in abundance here on the ship,_ he commented dryly.

"Ah," Rey said. "I may pass that along. Anything you want me to tell your friend the General?"

 _He's not my friend,_ Kylo admitted. _He's just my not-enemy for the moment. And I have his cat…_

"Where are you?" Rey asked as he cast around. There were symbols on the wall but they just seemed to be angles and curves. He frowned. He should be able to read, to decipher the markings but…they meant nothing. He glanced over at the other porgs who were oblivious to Rey's Force presence. The females-who he had mentally started to name-had managed to make fairly substantial nests using the wiring-except Ditzy who seemed to have electrocuted herself pulling on a mains. Nutsy-an equally oblivious porg-was looking hopefully at the heavy duty mains cable lying next to the still-smoking Ditzy and Kylo knew he should probably say something before she killed herself as well…but the knowledge that he seemed to have lost the ability to read made him wonder if there was any point.

 _I don't know,_ he said quietly. Rey walked slowly forward and extended her hand. He looked at it, confused. Was she going to stroke him or not?

"Are you alright?" she asked gently and he slowly shook his head.

 _I don't think so,_ he conceded. She reached out and gently touched his wing. He gave a sad croon. He felt he really wanted a cuddle-but she was searching around his surroundings, the details more focussed when she was in contact with him than without. Her eyes lighted on the symbols and she nodded.

"You couldn't read those, could you?" she asked. He shook his head again.

 _They mean nothing,_ he said miserably.

"I'll tell Hux," she promised and then she sighed. "I don't know what will happen if this is permanent. I don't know if we will ever connect again if you lose…you." She took a deep breath. "And I should be happy that an enemy, a monster is being removed…" She ruffled his head. "But I actually would like to talk to you again…when you're less fluffy and cute…"

 _Me too,_ he conceded as she gave him a little cuddle. She drew back.

"You really are very cute," she said and faded. He stared at the space where she had been.

 _I know,_ he sighed. Millicent edged closer to him once more as he heard a growl. And then he looked up, seeing the feral porg advancing on the little proto-colony. Millicent hissed, inching behind Kylo as the other porg growled and roared a challenge.

 _MINE!_ he howled and leapt at Kylo.

-o0o-

Hux's comm bleeped and he rolled his eyes.

"What part of communications blackout does everybody not understand?" he growled, stabbing the comm. "HUX!"

There was a pause.

 _"_ _Kylo is in trouble,"_ the Scavenger said in a cool voice, taken aback by his tone.

"I'm aware of that," the General snapped and then took a deep breath. "He's always in trouble."

 _"_ _Do you want to know where he is or not?"_ she asked pointedly. There was a pause and Hux exhaled slowly, then nodded.

"That would be very…helpful," he said begrudgingly. The fact that the Scavenger who had defeated Ren and helped destroy Starkiller Base, which Hux had poured his heart and soul into, seemed to have his private comm on demand still irked…but he couldn't fail Snoke twice in quick succession. Ambitious and ruthless he was, but even he couldn't withstand that level of failure and live. Finding Ren now was a priority because Snoke had demanded in no uncertain terms that his loyal servant and apprentice come and kill some more Resistance for him-not that he was about to share that with the Scavenger. "Did he ask you to contact me?"

 _"_ _He's fading, General Hux. There isn't the same person there. In fact, much of what makes him…Kylo Ren…seems to have gone, especially the anger. He's forgotten how to read. He's afraid…but mostly…porg. I think you're running out of time._ "

"I know," Hux said and he sighed. "He and his band of female porgs have vanished into the maintenance tunnels and though we're following them, there are a lot of tunnels in a Resurgent Class Destroyer for a porg and his harem to hide…"

 _"_ _13-Z-151/9304H,"_ Rey said firmly. _"That's the intersection where they appear to be nesting. Kylo can't read-but I can."_ Hux glanced over at Phasma, who was already punching the figures into her data pad.

"You are aware that whatever links you will cease when he regains his right mind?" he asked. She chuckled.

_"_ _I think neither of us asked for or wanted this connection, General and both would be relieved to be freed of it-but the Force seems very determined to make me a part of this."_

"That sounds familiar," Hux muttered.

 _"_ _You don't need to worry that I will have anything to do with you-or him-once things are restored to normal,"_ she assured him determinedly. _"I still think you're a genocidal maniac as I think Kylo Ren is a murderous monster. But for now, none of us seem to be acting like our normal selves. So in that spirit, I would suggest finding him before it's too late."_

She severed the connection with a nod and then turned back to her meditation on the cliffs of Ahch-To while Hux glanced over at the gleaming shape of the Captain in the cramped maintenance tunnel.

"Well, we have a location, Phasma-and yet another thing not to include in any report on what happened…" he said and began to walk off.

"Sir?" Phasma called, causing him to glance over his shoulder.

"Yes, Captain?" She gesture to the opposite fork in the tunnel.

"It's the other way," she said.


	12. Out of Time

**Twelve: Out of time**

Porgs were not designed for battle. That was the only conclusion Kylo could draw as the feral porg bit and tried to claw at him, wings flapping pathetically in the process. He scuttled back, eyes locked on the aggressor and wished he had his lightsaber. But he knew he wouldn't be able to use it…wouldn't even be able to lift it. All he could do was try to protect the females from the other male porg and try not to get injured in the process.

A lunge had the other porg biting his wing and he yelped, shocked. In that second, the Force flickered through him and he shared a brief insight, glimpsing the creature's past in a flash…

_…_ _waking as a bird and being chased from the Base by his uncomprehending fellow Resistance members…increasingly desperate attempts to get back in with another fellow had had been afflicted and try to get them to help him…feeling his mind dull and his chances fading-until the Command Shuttle swooped in and there, in the pouring rain, he watched Kylo Ren slaughter his remaining friends and dash forever any chance of redemption…feeling rage and hatred and a desire for revenge that grew when he saw his friend bite the attacker and pay with his life…clinging to the Base because it was his home…and recognising the ship the black and white porg came from as the one that had brought death…and the feeling of hatred that meant he had to kill the black and white intruder, no matter the cost…_

He reeled and stumbled backwards as the feral porg growled. Was this his future, a creature consumed by rage at the curse he had received, clinging to revenge as the only compulsion in an otherwise non-sentient life? Was there any hope now or was it too late to reverse the change? The feral male jumped him again and he kicked him away, receiving a hard bite on the wing in repayment. And then Pudgy-the roundest of the female porgs-jumped forward, cooing gently to try to calm the enraged porg down. But he launched at her and his clawed foot ripped deep into her side. She gave a desperate howl and fell as Kylo bounded forward, seeing Millicent ready to attack to protect him.

 _STAY!_ he squawked and accelerated forward, hitting the other porg low and setting the pair of them rolling away from the little colony, clawing and growling. They skittled away, biting each other. Kylo felt a hard impact against his head as they hit a wall…and then they went through a hatchway and found themselves in one of those improbable shafts that seemed to extend as far as the eye could see in both directions. The other porg was up, his claws slashing Kylo's left wing viciously before he planted himself between Kylo and the main duct. Feeling blood soak into his feathers, Kylo wavered and for a second, he felt himself slip. Digging his claws in, he grasped his anger and determination not to give up until the last second-and then he bounded forward and launched, flapping his chewed wings and flying over the other porg. As he cleared the opponent, he kicked out as hard as he could and landed a hard blow to the opponent's head. Unbalanced as he tried to focus on the black and white porg, the feral porg plunged forward, wings flapping pathetically as he skidded over the brushed steel and then vanished over the seemingly-endless drop. There was a final screeching squawk that dopplered away. And then there was silence.

Kylo slowly picked himself up from where he had landed, his wing bleeding and head spinning. He couldn't really remember anything except he wanted to be back with the other porgs so he dragged himself back to the colony, finding the females crooning sadly over the badly wounded Pudgy. Millicent gave an alarmed screech as he reappeared and he stopped, uncertain what to do. But they were all looking to him so he stumbled forward and curled up by Pudgy. Millicent settled behind him and the others formed a warm cordon around him against the breeze as he looked up.

He couldn't really remember why he was fighting as the others cooed. All he could remember was that he wanted a cuddle and a sleep, surrounded by the colony. And maybe a few sardines…

No one reacted as the sounds of steps closed and when Hux and Phasma rounded a corner, they were faced by a wall of porg faces, with big sad eyes and solid little bodies, all clustered around the wounded shape of the black and white porg, with the ginger porg cuddled against him.

"MILLICENT!" Hux spluttered, outraged. "I can't believe you…"

"Ren's injured," Phasma noted, lifting her weapon, thumbing the power to stun and shooting every porg there. As the little fluffy bodies fell with a selection of coos, trills and gently accusing looks, the Captain lowered her weapon. "And now I feel like a total heel. I mean, they are so ridiculously cute…" Hux facepalmed and then walked forward to scoop the limp ginger shape of Millicent in his arms before inspecting the black and white porg. He sighed.

"He looks quite injured," he noted and stretched a hand out to scratch the fluffy head.

"There's another injured one over there," Phasma noted.

"These creatures carry a dangerous virus," Hux reminded her, gesturing with his bandaged wrist.

"And they are unconscious," she sighed. "I'll have my men collect them and put them in cages in a shuttle. They can be returned to the surface in due course. I'll take Ren and the other injured porg." Hux rose and adjusted Millicent in his arms.

"Let's just hope that Grantz can reverse what has happened," he said and then paused. "Um…which way is it?" Phasma gestured to her right.

"A hundred metres down that tunnel is an entrance onto the main corridor, sir," she explained. He nodded.

"Let's go," he said and marched off into the distance. Phasma paused and cuddled the wounded Kylo porg.

"Don't worry, sir," she murmured. "I'll see they get home safe."

-o0o-

Hux hadn't commented when Grantz took the injured porgs from Phasma and had treated both with Bacta patches. Instead, he had sat to one side with Millicent in his arms, absently stroking her soft feathers and feeling her breathe. He had been surprised at two more porgs in cages though he had started smirking when the scientist had revealed that she had moved them from Medical-and he recognised Peavey and Mitaka. The scientist was also told him that the cure was ready-but that she hadn't run any tests yet.

"The only test is to try it," Hux pointed out. "If you're feeling confident, try Peavey. If less so, you have Mitaka. Take your pick." Phasma stared at him. "The sooner you confirm it works, the sooner we can all be de-porged and get back to normal."

"I presume you are prepared to take responsibility of anything happens?" Grantz asked him pointedly. He waved his wrist at her.

"I have a vested interest for this to work-but by your own testimony, the entire Bridge saw their Captain and Lieutenant turn into porgs," the General pointed out. "If somehow they never reappeared, what can you do?" He looked over at the porgs who were bouncing up and down frantically in their cages. "And I presume they can understand me?"

"I assume so," Phasma commented, seeing them waving their wings and bouncing pathetically. "I'm not sure you've actually given them much confidence." Spinning his chair round and stroking the comatose ginger porg in his arms, Hux scowled.

"I want results," he commented. "Because I have no intention of becoming a porg myself!" Grantz sighed and nodded, then went to the nearest cage and grabbed the squirming porg within. Mitaka whimpered as she jabbed him in the fluffbutt with the injection. Then she repeated the process with Peavey.

Once she had returned them to their cages, she took a seat.

"Now, we wait," she commented, ensuring that all the instruments were taking measurements and documenting the process. "Batch two. Two subjects." Still stroking Millicent, Hux found a screen and reviewed the status reports while Phasma gave orders for the remaining porgs to be collected and taken to a cage in one of the shuttles for transport back to the planet surface unharmed. Then she turned to inspect the scientist.

"How confident are you?" she asked. Grantz frowned, her brow furrowing.

"The curative retrovirus is very basic engineering," she explained. "It's any unintended consequences. How will the reversion affect the subject? Will every aspect of their personality reintegrate or will they lose part of their knowledge or experience? Will they reform as they were or will wounds be healed or magnified? And will the process complete or may they keep a wing or a fluffy butt? Probabilities edge slightly in favour of the straight reversion probability but all possibilities are feasible…"

"You're not giving me much confidence either," Hux pointed out. "Since I have to have the damned thing as Ren ensured that I was bitten." He paused. "And you will restore Millicent?" She nodded.

"We need to confirm the human version works first," she suggested and he reluctantly nodded.

"How long is it likely to take?" he asked, stroking Millicent.

"The dose is much higher than the infecting dose so the effect should be faster-especially if the subjects are close to transformation when they will have a larger proportion of native cells. In fact…"

She got no further as the porgs blurred and suddenly exploded outwards, the cages blowing apart under the pressure and dumping two dazed and naked humans on the floor. Peavey and Mitaka were tangled up with one another and scrambling to get away.

Everyone stared for a long moment.

"How do you feel?" Grantz asked after regaining her composure, activating scanners to detail their physical state.

"Get me some clothes!" Peavey spat, shoving Mitaka off him. "General…"

"Captain-good to see you looking more yourself," Hux said coldly. "I suggest you get in uniform and resume your duties with all due alacrity once the scientist has completed scans and you have been checked out by Medical."

"I…" Peavey gaped. The General deliberately stroked the ginger porg in his arms and then turned to the second naked figure.

"Mitaka-please assist the Captain to the Medical Bay," Hux said. "Now?" Blushing, Mitaka saluted and offered Peavey his hand-but the man grabbed a data pad and held it strategically before he marched out of the room, Mitaka scooting along behind him.

"I should have taken the increase in size into account," Grantz noted, shaking her head.

"And not a word of thanks," Phasma noted. "How long will it take to synthesise sufficient to treat all those requiring doses?"

"About two hours," the scientist replied, turning to her screen and entering details, before starting the synthesis process once more. "Your cat will be easy to modify the retrovirus for and I should have a dose for her in a similar time frame." But then she shook her head. "The problem is…Ren." Hux frowned.

"What problem?" he asked.

"His condition has passed the point where I estimated it could be reversed," she admitted. "Analysis shows only eight percent human genetic code remaining." Phasma looked at the little shape, lying curled up on a diagnostic bed with Bacta patches on his wounds.

"You mean he may be stuck?" she asked evenly as Grantz sighed.

"It is very probable," she conceded. "However, I have procured direct genetic samples from Ren's quarters that hopefully will enable me to synthesise a specific reversal agent for him that may enable you to get him back." Hux frowned.

"I'm not even going to ask what samples you collected," he commented and sighed. "Okay. Captain-I am going to speak to the senior officers and then I will be back in exactly two hours." He stood up. "And Phasma-could you please look after Millicent please?" The Captain accepted the soft ginger porg and watched the General leave before she carefully sat down. Grantz looked at her.

"I am certain they never covered this in training," she commented. "So what else have these porgs been up to?"

-o0o-

When two hours passed, Hux returned and had his shot to prevent any ill effects from Ren's bite. The other patients-who were in quarantine in Medical-were all treated and Millicent was given her shot. It only took fifteen minutes for her to return to being her usual feline self, though Hux ensured he had a little cuddle of her porg self before she changed back.

Kylo remained unconscious, a small curled shape wrapped in Bacta patches. Phasma left to supervise the return of the remaining porgs to the surface and ensure that no one else got bitten in the process. Hux had placed an absolute quarantine on Valpanthus 3, labelling it as a world inimical to colonisation and the Finalizer was deploying First Order warning beacons in orbit to reinforce the prohibition.

Finally, Grantz announced that she had completed the cure and she turned to Hux.

"I can't guarantee it will work," she explained as the little black and white porg finally stirred, his sad face with the scar over his right eye looking hopefully up at Hux. "Anything you want to say to him, you may want to do it now." Hux sighed, then leaned forward to look into Kylo's eyes.

"I know we haven't always seen eye to eye," he began. "But…this isn't how I imagined this to go. If it doesn't work, I will look after you. Though I really have no idea what I will tell Snoke." He sighed. "And you are really, really cute…and I hope you never recall this." Then he gently scooped the little porg in his arms and gave him a final cuddle, looking over to Grantz and nodding. The scientist gave the porg a swift injection in his fluffbutt and he squawked and gave a panicked flap of his wings. Just as swiftly, the porg went limp and Hux laid him on the diagnostic bed and sat back in his chair.

Time passed and Grantz busied herself reviewing the results of her scans and samples of all the porgs while monitoring Kylo's condition. Hux sat in the seat, accepting a cup of very substandard caff and some very substandard rations as he watched over the porg and mentally reviewed the Starkiller Base plans and how he could improve them for Starkiller v2.0. Looking small and vulnerable-and certainly no longer responding like he had at the beginning-the little porg was breathing slowly. Hux pinched the bridge of his nose. He had no idea why he felt protective to the porg-who was actually his bitter rival-but there was something about Kylo the Porg that meant whoever encountered him felt he was extremely cute and wanted to cuddle him. He shook his head. _Cute!_ Not an adjective that could have been applied to the man prior to his transformation…or if he turned back.

He was dozing and Grantz had stepped out to freshen up when he heard something-a sort of moan and groan and then a thud. Hux's eyes snapped open and he was on his feet as he stared at the diagnostic bed. No longer occupied by a cute porg, the tall and muscular shape of Kylo Ren was lying curled on his side, his various wounds taped with Bacta and his eyelids flickering. Suddenly his eyes snapped open and he sat bolt upright.

"AGH!" he yelled. Hux blinked.

"Really?" he commented. "I expected better from you for famous first words." Dark eyes flicked up as Kylo ran his fingers through wildly dishevelled raven hair.

"Hux," he growled, his voice hoarse. He gave small cough. "Kriff, it would have to be you."

"Thank you, Hux. I am very grateful for all the efforts you have made in saving my life several times and ensuring I got turned back to human!" Hux commented sarcastically. Curiously, he felt much more comfortable with the familiar antagonism. Kylo looked up.

"I had the most insane…" he murmured and then he blinked again. "Seriously-was I a porg?" Hux chuckled.

"Oh yes," he said with relish. "There is vid evidence. And multiple eyewitnesses. And scientific scans. And…"

"I get the idea," Kylo sighed, his tone heavy. "And how long are you going to bring this up for?" Hux took a deep breath.

"Much as I would love to enjoy the chaos and excessive cuteness you provided…" he began.

"I was NOT cute," Kylo growled as Hux managed a smirk.

"You were. You really were," he continued. "And let's not even mention the stampede of amorous females after you. And the fact that almost everyone wanted to cuddle you. _Everyone_. But it would be very detrimental to discipline to keep mentioning this. So in the interests of forgetting this whole debacle-and getting back to business, I am ordering that all mention of this unfortunate incident is expunged from the logs."

"Including the vids?" Kylo asked him suspiciously. Hux snorted.

"Most of them," he commented. "I have a couple I am not going to erase…" Kylo's fists clenched. Hux chuckled. "But I will not share them either. You have my word. No one will ever know this happened." Reluctantly recognising the best offer he was going to get-for now, Kylo nodded and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

"Agreed," he said shortly. "And Hux? Thanks. I can't recall much…but I do remember you looking after me." Affording him a small nod of acknowledgement, the General accepted the gratitude as all the thanks he would get. Once Ren walked out of the room, their rivalry would be back to how it was.

"Now, we have a mission from Supreme Leader Snoke so I would recommend you get ready for action," Hux told him briskly. "He wishes to speak to you urgently as well." Kylo swung to his feet.

"Then it's time to get back to work," he growled and stomped towards the door. Hux stared after him and rolled his eyes. Perhaps he hadn't completely adjusted after all.

"Ren?"

"Yes?"

"You do know you're naked?"

**The End.**

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed the porg-related chaos. At times like this, we all need a laugh-and I had a lot of laughs writing this. I hope you had some reading it. Best wishes and take care of your fluffbutts! -harrypanther**

**A/N 2: In case you haven't had enough SW Porg craziness, Vala411 is writing a short sort-of sequel. Read at your peril! -hp**


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